Friday, December 30, 2011

Letting Go

Letting go can be hard. We get comfortable in our current situation. We have a tendency to repeat the same behaviors and patterns even when we know they are not in our best interest. Sometimes we hold on to relationships, dreams, feelings, or stuff just because we can't let go.

But letting go sometimes is what we need to do.

What did you let go of in 2011? What was the experience like? How is your life different today? Do you ever regret it?

If not, is there something that you need to let go of in 2012? What scares you about that possibility? What situation do you need to create for that to happen?

In 2009 I had to give up control of what I thought I needed in my life. In 2010, I had to give up that same control, and again in 2011 I have had to give up control AGAIN. Things don't always go the way that I think they will go, but in the end everything turns out better.

I had to let go of my dream of how I saw my birth experience going. Everything was so perfect about it - labor was about as perfect as I could expect, the delivery went great - all until Eli came out struggling to breath. I didn't get to hold him on my chest right away. I didn't get to have family and friends come in and ooh and ahh over our new little bundle. I didn't get to rest and recover. I was full of worry and had to get out of the hospital ASAP so I could go be with my son. No family got to meet him for a week, and even then we kept it very limited to keep him away from germs. It just was never the joy filled experience that it should have been and I still struggle with disappointment at how it all turned out.

With that being said though, I am so sooo grateful that he turned around as quickly as he did. He was home in 7 days and has been very healthy ever since! It is a blessing that it only took a couple days of respiratory help to get him on the right track, but I still have a hard time with how it all turned out. Giving up control is hard!