Thursday, November 21, 2019

Letters to My Baby - Third Trimester

27 Weeks
Third Trimester Baby!  We are getting there. The weeks have felt soooo slow but the months feel like they've cruised by! I have been complaining a tiny bit since the early 20's about aches and pains and how long I still have to go, but now that it's the 3rd trimester I feel at least a little justified with my complaints.  I of course can't complain too much because I am so blessed to have you with me! I am excited to be in the final stretch and it is definitely the trimester I worry the most about.  I am nervous about contractions and bed rest and I am very worried about my blood sugars. I just have to trust and put it all in God's hands at this point.  It might be a daily surrender but we will get to the finish line!

28 Weeks
Whoohoo, 28 weeks is another milestone.  The survival rate has gotten even better at this point and a lot of the super scare micro preemie issues would no longer be an issue. But the best news is you're still baking just fine and I'm becoming more confident that bedrest might not be on the horizon. The biggest issue at this point is the concern over my darn fasting blood sugars.  I don't know what it is going to take to get these under control and it just doesn't make sense that they are still not cooperating. But I know from all my research that sometimes the placenta just doesn't cooperate and makes this an issue.  I'm still going to do my best to stay off meds but if I need meds, I need meds to keep you safe. The very best part of this week is we went in for our 3D ultrasound. I couldn't wait to see you.  Unfortunately I spent the majority of that appointment walking around, rolling over, running up stairs, eating snacks, drinking water trying to get you to wake up and do something!  The one time in your life that you choose to be completely quiet and sleep the whole time.  To make it even worse, you had your feet up above your head which meant the poor tech had to be so careful to not show if you were a boy or girl.  You're a lil pill, that's for sure!  the tech wasn't happy with the quality of pictures so she wants us to come back at 31 weeks, with some sugar on board (I'll splurge a tiny bit that day even though we are rocking the GD diet) to see if we can get some better quality pictures.  I still loved seeing you, you definitely favor your brother Eli and my side of the family! Can't wait to see you again and of course get closer to meeting you in person!

29 weeks
Life just keeps moving along, even if it seems slow.  I had my first 2 week appointment this week. My fasting numbers are still terrible and my doctor is getting a little bit nervous but she's giving me 2 more weeks to try and get this straightened out. I truly do love her because she called me the next day and spent the night looking over the numbers and food I had eaten to try and help me troubleshoot. We chatted for quite awhile going over everything and my numbers aren't making sense to her either.  But I know sometimes the body just doesn't cooperate even when you're trying to do everything right. I will do anything and everything in my power to keep you safe and happy!

30 Weeks
We've made it into the 30's whew! Those 20's have drug on in every single pregnancy.  You seem to  be doing so well in there! Still super busy and probably hitting the scales at about 3 lbs now.  I am excited for all that the 30's bring, more baby prep and meeting you of course!  I definitely feel in my 3rd trimester now with lots of aches and pains and it's getting harder to breathe.  I am already so tired, but I guess last time I was on forced bedrest by this point so it was easy to rest and nap.  I'll take being tired and having my legs any day! We are just all excited to meet you and counting down the days that feel like they are dragging on, even if the months seem to be passing quickly.  We are finally in fall, the season we will meet you in!

31 Weeks
Whew, what a busy week Smalls!  To start with, I had another appointment this week. I'm still losing weight on this current eating plan which does help me know that even if the numbers don't show it, I am eating healthy!  Unfortunately the sugar numbers are getting worse and so a very low dose of meds has become necessary. Now it is just tweaking the time of day to see how my numbers do and see if the dosage needs upped or if I need to take 2 low doses a day.  It's definitely a lot, especially because even this low dose has made my sugar drop really low a couple times, so I am always on alert with some candy for a quick pick me up.  When I spend my entire day with small children it does make me a little nervous if I were to pass out or something.  But the low dose of meds is definitely helping my sugar numbers.  We still haven't quite got in range with the fasting number but it's definitely closer. Fortunately I have a doctor to help me figure this all out.  In other news, we went for our repeat 3D ultrasound this week.  You cooperated much better this time but your darn cord was making you crazy as it was across your face. You were okay sucking on it when it was in front of your mouth but once it went up over your nose, you were not liking it! You have beautiful lips and chubby cheeks already! We cannot figure out who you look like but we can't wait to see you in person and figure it out!  The other good news is that you've been transverse all along and it was starting to make me nervous the more I researched. After a couple days of praying though, we found out you are perfectly head down now! Now I just pray that you stay head down!  And lastly for this busy week, we went to the hospital we will be delivering at for a tour.  Your big siblings were born at a hospital only 5 minutes away from the house, but my amazing doctor now delivers at a hospital 30-40 minutes away so we wanted to get an idea of how they do things.  Fortunately while it is a much bigger hospital, the maternity ward is ran very similar to the one we had your big siblings at so I feel really good about the plan to deliver there now.  I finally feel like I see the light at the end of the tunnel! There is so much on the calendar between now and your due date that I know it will be here before we know it!

32 weeks:
Not much to report this week, still trying to figure out diabetes numbers and losing hope that I'm going to get this fully figured out in time, but I really am doing my best!  Wow, we are 8 months pregnant now, getting close to the end!  Knowing that early labor is always a possibility we are getting the hospital bag packed just in case.  Mainly just the fun baby stuff at this point but hopefully over the next few weeks we can get the rest of the stuff we need. I learned the hard way that it's no fun to be running around packing when in labor so I am getting prepared!  We love you so much Smalls and are inching closer and closer to the end!

33 Weeks:
Another doctors appointment this week! They're coming up quick now and this will be my last 2 week gap before we switch to every week appointments.  First things first we addressed the diabetes again.  She's happy with how things are looking and I am going to keep taking meds at breakfast and dinner and hopefully that will get us through the end of this thing.  You are supposed to be the size of a pineapple now and weight between 4-4.5 lbs.  She did feel you out this week and said you are still head down - yay! And that you are not a big baby so that's good because you were measuring so far ahead (supposedly) at 20 weeks.  I will for sure be induced at 39 weeks at the latest because of the diabetes but she said we will try to see if we can get labor stirred up before 39 weeks.  I will probably know more on that front in the coming weeks I assume.  Your Dad and I might be freaking out a little bit at how close to the end of the road we are getting!  I mean, in 2 weeks we can deliver at a non-nicu hospital. I hope you bake much longer than that though!  But we are getting so excited to meet you and I am not even sure I fully comprehend that we are going to have a fresh new baby to snuggle here very soon!

34 Weeks:
This week we spent in prep mode for you. Got the last of the bags packed, put the swing together, got the car seat ready, set up the playpen next to the bed.  Now we are ready and just keep waiting for you! So keep on baking!  There would be a small chance that if you were born this week you could come straight home with us, so that is exciting but I am not counting on that and want you to keep on keeping on in there! It has been a real blessing to not have to be on bedrest this pregnancy and that you've cooperated pretty darn well. It's my own body giving us trouble with those sugars.  I still don't feel like all this is real, like are we REALLY going to have a baby in our home in just a matter of weeks?!?  I don't think I will fully comprehend until they put you in my arms and I can't wait for that amazing moment!

35 Weeks:
This is a big week because this week we would be allowed to deliver at a normal non nicu hospital because the odds have increased so much that you would be born healthy!  I still want you to wait at least 2 more weeks but I am feeling better everyday that you'd do well if born.  This week was my first weekly appointment until we get to the end of this thing.  I was also checked for the first time and am currently 1cm.  Doctor seemed pretty happy with where I am at for 35 weeks so we will see how things progress in the weeks ahead.  I've been known to have stubborn kiddos so I won't get too excited  just yet.  The wait continues. I need some serious motivation to get the last of the things ready for you! 3rd trimester fatigue is definitely kicking in, but I got this!

36 Weeks:
Still holding steady and things are going well! I may have gone totally crazy this week with the cleaning. I just want to make sure that everything possible is ready for your arrival as soon as you are ready. I still want you to wait a bit longer though but each day that passes makes me feel better about avoiding the dreaded NICU.  Appointment this week was pretty quick and easy.  I was still 1cm but 50% effaced and she could feel your head.  She seems to think I will give birth in 1-2 weeks and might not need to be induced at 39 weeks.  That kind of got us into gear and we got the car seat in Daddy's car since we will use his car at the hospital and Daddy is keeping his phone close by him at work because he is more than an hour away if things were to happen! Contractions are definitely picking up but I've played this game before and know they are just pretend.  Now we just wait, we have a house full of people who are very eager to meet you!

37 Weeks:
Well Smalls you've finally done it! I think I am broken!  Even though blood sugars are going great, I just don't feel good most of the time.  My blood pressure is also starting to climb like it did with your sister, but doctor didn't seem too concerned.  I'm so tired and contracting quite a bit, having the usual aches and pains of late pregnancy and tossing and turning all night.  It was all to be expected so I'm not really complaining too much!  At my appointment this week I am still at 1cm but she said the head has come down quite a bit.  It is looking more likely that I will once again need to be induced.  This time because there is concern that the placenta starts to die sooner in patients on medication controlled GD.  I did mention that you no longer move nearly as much as you used to which I am not overly worried about because I do still feel some movement, but it was enough to just run a few additional tests to make sure you're doing okay.  We started with a 20 minute non stress test where we listened to your heartbeat and checked for contractions. Your heart did exactly what it was supposed to and we caught quite a few contractions.  Like I said, I have them ALL the time, they just aren't productive.  Then we moved on to an ultrasound to check fluid levels, heartbeat, and practice breathing.  I was thrilled to know you were taking lots and lots of practice breaths!  All looks great! We got a quick look at the side of your head and ear and your hand, but she didn't want us to see too much of you and spoil a surprise here in the last week!  She did say that you have very long leg bones so we will see if you are a tall one!  I still can't fully comprehend that you are going to be here soooo soon but I am ready when you are!

38 Weeks:
Well little one, we have entered the last week of this part of our journey together.  It's looking less and less likely that you will come out on your own so another induction is on the books.  This week has been really, really hard.  For starters, I got a stomach bug over the weekend. I thought upset tummy and body aches may have been an early labor sign but nope, it was just a yucky bug that took about 4 day before I actually felt better again.  Pregnant women shouldn't get sick!  I had my final OB appointment. Final tally on weight gain around 17 lbs which I am pretty happy about, the GD diet has been super helpful on keeping my weight down this time. Much better than the 35 lbs I gained on bed rest with Sabrina! We also discovered that I am now 3cm and 50% effaced. So we are definitely making progress! She did sweep my membranes but after a few hours of contractions, it got me nowhere!  Oh well!  I also had no idea just how bad heartburn could get.  The last couple weeks, heartburn has kept me up at night and even had me throwing up.  I had no idea it could get this intense even when I'm taking pregnancy safe meds and basically sleeping upright.  My newest symptom is now the starts of a rash on my stretched out belly that I am doing everything I can to avoid itching!  The end is so sooo close so I am just surviving on very little sleep and know that as soon as you are born this itchiness, heartburn, and sugar numbers should all be behind me. And you are definitely well worth every single ache and pain I've had.  We are down to HOURS before we will see your beautiful face, find out if you are son or daughter, and give you a name!  I'm a little nervous but surprisingly calm as we anticipate your arrival so very soon! No matter what pregnancy holds, no matter what labor holds, you are worth every single hard moment. You are a dream come true! I am so excited to meet you face to face my Baby Smalls! It is finally almost go time and I am so thankful God has blessed us with little you! We love you always! It's go time baby! 

Monday, November 18, 2019

Hello in There!

Hello Smalls!   How is it going in there?  I'm feeling a bit nostalgic as we reach the end of this journey together and as sad as I sometimes feel about this chapter ending, I know the best part is yet to come! 

I still sit here and marvel at the amazing blessing and miracle you are in our life.  A year ago, I wasn't sure if we would ever get this experience again, so sitting here now with my big ole belly and feeling you move inside just amazes me. This pregnancy journey hasn't been an easy one and we've faced some challenges but I can never really complain because this journey is something that I am humbled and so grateful that I got the opportunity to have (again) when so many women I know are still hoping for this.

So I sit here now, likely in the very last days that I will ever be pregnant.  It's a mix of emotions because I haven't particularly enjoyed pregnancy this time but I have loved feeling you wiggle and move and knowing that you are healthy and hopefully quite happy in there.  In all honesty, as ready as our home is for you, we have lots of diapers and wipes, everything is set up for you, bag is packed,  I have this giant belly, and yet it hasn't hit me that we are bringing a baby home, potentially in hours if you decided it was time!  I know the second you are in my arms that reality will hit very quickly.  And I can't wait.  You have the most excited group of siblings I have ever met.  They've been so eager to meet you and I can't wait for that moment that they get to come in and see you for the very first time.  You are gonna be one lucky kid with those big brothers and sisters. 

So sweet baby, we will meet face to face so very soon! I can't wait to learn about your personality because you've been something else on this journey these last 9 months. I can't wait to find out what our little gender tie breaker will be.  I honestly have no clue or guess at this point as I've gone back and forth so many times and I love that every tech that has tried to take a peak (including our doctor just 2 days ago) has not been able to find out!  Everyone in that delivery room is gonna be just as surprised as we will be!  I look so forward to that moment that you are put on my chest and I know it will make every moment of this several year journey to you so worth it!  You are our latest miracle and I am humbled and so incredibly thankful that God has given you to us!  So I will see you oh so very soon, and I can't wait for us to get to know each other and have the huge privilege of being your mama!  You are so sooo loved and there is an army of people eager to meet you!