Digesting the changes

I'm still working on digesting the most recent news out of Ethiopia. Today we found out that we will have to go to Ethiopia - twice, and soon. We are now being required to go over there and meet our little one and sign a form stating we want to continue with the adoption. Then we'll have to go back again after we pass court for the Embassy appointment. Fortunately at that time we will come home for good with our little one.

What were we thinking? We knew the risks with International adoption and we still signed on? Why did we sign up for this roller coaster ride? Why would someone who doesn't enjoy flying sign up for this? Is it worth the cost and this emotional struggle?

My answer? Yes! Through all of these unknowns - the answer is yes. Is it worth all this frustration? Yes. I know without a doubt that the day I finally get my child put in my arms forever it will all be worth it. Everything will be worth it. We are right where God wants us to be. Knowing you are in the center of God's will makes everything worth it!

We need money. We need a lot more money to complete this process. God knows this need. While we are stressed about it, we will not let it hold us back. We know God will provide every dollar we need. Money is no object for our Master! So we proceed, we pray, and we trust that somehow the money will be there.

We need more time off. Neither one of us has the vacation time to take two trips to Ethiopia. But we know it will be okay. Even if I have to take time as no-pay it will be okay. Even if Peter has to take a cut to his Paternity leave, it's okay. We'll deal with it because this is for our child. Our child is way more important then our jobs will ever be!

I don't like to fly. Seriously, flying across the country is more than enough for me. It hurts my back. I get bored and sick feeling, and claustrophobic. But this is what God wants me to do. He wants me to get on a plane and fly (TWICE!) to meet my little one. I would cross the oceans (TWICE!) to be with him. I will do whatever is asked of me to bring my son home. We will not stop!!! I will endure hours of back pain, jet lag, boredom, nausea, (TWICE!) to bring him home.

I will continue on this emotional journey. Right now, even thinking about meeting my son makes me so excited. Getting him in my arms months before I otherwise would just makes me smile. But at the same time I can smile through tears because he has to stay behind. Peter and I had discussed this before and I told him, if we ever had to travel for court I am not coming home without him. I will stay as long as I have to after he is legally mine. But this situation is different. He will not legally be ours when we come home. We have no choice but to come home without him. This is going to break our hearts and we both know it. I just cannot imagine having to leave him behind. But I will do it! I will leave, and I will cry. I will stare at our pictures for months and I will return (on a jet plane) to bring him home for good!

This is so hard to deal with. I trust God. We did not sign up for something easy. We knew this would be a difficult path and we trusted that God would help us through anything and everything. So we wait and anticipate the rest of this journey. We are ready for the good and the bad days that lay before us.

A weekend with the Kids!

This weekend we spent a lot of time with the niece's and new little nephew. I especially enjoy getting time with them because I don't get as much time as I used to and they are growing up so fast!

My mom and I had planned a girl's day with my niece's but once Peter heard we were going bowling he decided to crash girl's day (after getting permission from my niece's who love uncle Peter time!)

Jillian was ready to go!

Jezzie already has great technique! A little bowler in the making!

Being Silly

This was the safest way for Jillian to bowl :)



Otherwise, there was a lot of this.......

After a great day on Saturday with the girl's I got a chance to babysit
this sweet little guy on Sunday!

Johnny is getting so big and he is so darn cute :) He is seriously the best baby. He hardly ever cries and when he does it is just for a second and it is the cutest little crying face ever :)

I love my niece's and nephew so much and it was so much fun to get to spend a weekend enjoying time with them! I really need to do that more often!

Adoption Stuff!

This has been a pretty uneventful week. We worked and that was about it for us.

Juno got her allergy test results back and she was allergic to 25 of the 40 allergens they tested her for! The vet was surprised but I honestly was not that surprised. She's a hairless dog! Would we expect any less from her?!?! So from here we wait for the shots to be made. I say "shots" because she will have 2 vials of meds now because she was allergic to so many things. After that, we will go in for the appointment and they will give us all the details on her allergy's (she's mostly allergic to weeds and grasses) and he will show us how to give her the shots. We will give her shots every couple weeks and then gradually cut down to shots once a month.

The only other news I have is for our adoption process. We usually get our new official numbers the first week of the month. Apparently our agency has been very busy so no number call this week. Our agency has official numbers that calculate how many people are waiting in the program. So when a family gets a referral they send them all the information on the child and then the family has some things they have to do. They have to get lots of documents notarized, meet with an International pediatrician, have several phone calls with our agency - one with the transition coordinator who will help us come up with a transition plan for when the baby comes home. We have to complete this transition plan before we can send in all the referral paperwork. So the referral process can take up to 10 business days to complete. So even after a family gets a referral there name is not taken off the list until all the referral paperwork has been turned in. So I thought our official number this month would be #9 because I know 2 people who completed all their paperwork in February.

Our agency also sends out bi-weekly updates on Friday's. This calculates how many referrals they have sent out in the past 2 weeks. This number is for referrals that have been sent out but have NOT actually been accepted and sent back. It is confusing, but the exciting thing with this number is that our agency says they gave out referrals for 3 infant boys this week! So I thought that would put us at #6 for a boy.

Now stick with me :)

I do know that one family in front of us is waiting for a toddler 12-24 months so we can take them out of our count since we are waiting for a baby 0-12 months. So that would put us at #5. Well, today I got a comment on our adoption blog and that person said they are right in front of us in line (at this point I no longer knew anyone in front of us with the same parameters) and she said they got their new official numbers this week and they are officially #7, so that would make us officially #8 and drop us unofficially to #4!

Did I lose you in all that? :)

Basically it means nothing and is just a guess. We COULD be #4 but we're still waiting and have no idea how much longer we'll be waiting. It does tell me that I need to be sure and keep my phone on me at all times and if things continue to move - we could be meeting our little boy soon!

And honestly I feel bittersweet about that. I am so excited to see my baby. I am so excited to stare at his picture for the next several months and have a name and a birthday! At the same time, I'm extremely sad for him. If we really are #4 there is no doubt that bad things are happening in his life. He has or will be relinquished from his birth family very, very soon. He could be at a government orphanage right now. He could also realistically be at our agency's transition home right now. I feel so bad for him and his birth family. What a weird mix of emotions. He is definitely in my thoughts and prayers.

Well that about covers it. Hopefully we'll have our agency phone call this week and we will have some more info :)

Bye Bye February.... Hello March!

So, how are things going?

Just fine ......I guess, thanks for asking :)

A more detailed response, lets see....

Things are going well for Peter at work. Hard to believe it has almost been a year since that dreadful day he was laid off. He really enjoys his job and I am so glad for that! His company is approaching their year end so I imagine things are going to get pretty busy for him soon! He just took another CPA exam yesterday. We're hoping for good news in the coming weeks on a couple different tests he's taken.

I had a long work week this week. I am not used to 50 hour work weeks anymore and it wore me out! I am still trying to distract myself from the waiting with different activities - cooking and baking has been a favorite distraction right now. I also have scrapbooking and piano playing ready for when the baking becomes less appealing.

Juno took another trip to the vet this past week. She has been keeping us up at night and just been really itchy. We have actually seen her conditions worsen since the food switch but we aren't sure if it was the food or the unseasonably nice weather we've been having that is making her miserable. We decided to go ahead and have the allergy testing done and forgo continuing with the food testing. It was quite expensive but in the long run spending $130 a year on shots will be much cheaper than spending over $50 a month on special food and I think she will be much happier. She has quite the bruise on her poor little neck right now to show for it. A trip to the vet is always traumatizing to her. They are testing her blood for over 40 allergens and hopefully we will have results in a few weeks. From there we have to learn how to give Juno shots and we will start out doing that every couple of weeks. For the time being she is on 6 pills a day to help with her itchiness and she is also on antibiotics once again for the staph infection that never goes away. In the coming months she will also need a biopsy on a spot on her head. Whew, it never ends for our poor little girl. And to think she isn't even 2 yet!!!

Nothing to report on the adoption process this week. To the best of my knowledge no referrals went out this past week. We have been waiting for our referral for 4 months now. I will get my monthly update call from my caseworker this week and I am hoping to ask her some more questions about this lag in referrals. I also plan to ask her about the referral process and just what we can expect when we get that amazing phone call telling us we have a son! The good news right now is that courts seem to be running smoothly and quickly. We do not want to get caught up in a long court process. So hopefully the courts will continue to run smoothly and after referral we'll be over in Ethiopia before we know it!!!

Weekly Randoms

I realized I haven't updated our blog for awhile..... sorry if read the family blog!

The last few weeks have been pretty good. We've been plenty busy with little projects. I've distracted myself from thinking about the waiting (lies, lies, lies). Okay, I've TRIED to distract myself from the waiting and while the distractions do help, nothing can completely help. We are #9 now so still sloooowly getting closer to our little man!

Now lets talk about another precious little man. I was able to spend a few hours with my sweet little nephew last weekend. He was almost 6 weeks old. He is getting more interactive which I love! He is starting to coo and smile and is just adorable. It has been way to long since we've had a baby around.

So cute!

Last weekend we tried to make a Mardi Gras King Cake. I come from a lineage of bread makers but I've never had the guts to try it for myself. Homemade bread dough intimidates me, but I figured I would give it my best shot. Well everything worked out well except for a minor glitch while it was rising. Okay so the minor mistake caused me to have to start over, but the second batch of dough turned out much better so it all worked out! I tried and I conquered!

Our finished King Cake

Also my grandma finished a blanket for Baby Dash! I absolutely love it and it looks awesome in his room!!!

So that about covers it. We hope to take advantage of the nice weather today and pull weeds and trim roses and cut the grass (earliest grass cutting EVER!). The weather is gorgeous and you have to take advantage of it before it disappears for the next few months. I have to work overtime this week (yuck!), Juno has to have surgery (more on that in another post), and Peter has an exam on Friday (yuck!). Yep, quite the week ahead.

Seeking Sanity

My sanity is gone. If you find it, I would love to have it back!!! Alright, I admit it this adoption process has gotten the best of me! I have gone nuts!!!

Waiting is not my strong point and with this "waiting" phase of the process taking way longer then we expected it too - I am no longer having fun :)

I fortunately have an awesome adoption support group - some families who are way ahead of us in the process (like home for years with their children) and some way behind us (like considering signing on to adopt). A fellow blogging family who was instrumental in guiding us in our decision to adopt has been a great source of encouragement as I lose my mind! I appreciate the advice and the encouragement of friends and family but honestly, unless you've gone through it - you just don't understand.

People tell us "well, just know it will happen in God's timing." I totally understand that and I KNOW that completely, but that doesn't help while waiting on the perfect timing. I have actually had people tell me "Think of yourself like a woman who is trying to get pregnant and tests negative every month." Okay, for the record - I've been that woman and this feeling is NOTHING like that feeling. You see, I actually have a child out in this world right now that I know nothing about. I don't know if he's sick, or if he's getting fed, or if he has anyone to hold him and comfort him when he needs it. Totally different when I am wondering if my child is being taken care of.

So the best piece of REAL advice on how to endure this crazy wait is: distract yourself the best you can. So I'm working on a list of distractions. Actually, my mind was working on a list of distractions last night while I was sleeping. Seriously, I was literally making a mental list of distractions while I slept - I have gone crazy!!!

So as of yesterday here's where we stand:

For a girl we moved 5 spots last month to: #26

For siblings we moved 2 spots last month to: #12

For a boy we moved 5 spots last month to: #11

So assuming we are getting a boy we have 10 families in front of us that we are waiting to get kicked off the list :)

Just 10 families to reach all these goals that I am setting for myself. Okay, in reality I hope that we DO get our referral before I am able to accomplish all these goals, but if that does happen I have a whole other phase of waiting to battle through and continue on with my goals!

And I promise to keep you, my loyal blogging friends up to date on how it's all going and how close we are to getting that call.

So with that being said, here are my goals:

1) Clean the spare bedroom so it can be used for future goals

2) Catch up on scrap booking in family album

3) Start on Dash's Baby scrapbook and get it current

4) Baby proof all rooms in our house (one room a week) which includes:

Downstairs Bathroom/Laundry Room

Living Room

Formal Dining Room

Kitchen

Family Room

Stairway/Hallway's

Master Bedroom

Master Bathroom

Mickey Bathroom

Nursery

Spare Bedroom

5) Finish Nursery

6) Lost 7 more lbs (workout, workout, workout)

7) Finish reading Adopted for Life

8) Finish reading Clear and Present Danger

9) Try out 10 new recipes

10) Stock the freezer with freezer meals (goal is 2 full day cooking sessions by time of travel which would total over 75 meals in freezer!)

11) Get back into piano playing (goal of refreshing at least through 2 more levels)

12) Get dogs on track with obedience. (note: They've been doing so well on knowing their domain and following the rules of staying off the bed. I know if we work with them they will do great!)

13) Start budgeting in categories what we will actually be allotted to spend after Dash arrives and I stop working. Example of areas we are cutting back: Eating Out, Grocery (not counting our separate budget for diapers and formula), Entertainment, Misc.)

Yep, those distractions should keep me busy. While the wait is taking longer than we expected there are some pro's to it taking longer. Every month that passes we are able to contribute more and more money into our adoption account to try and help with the $6000 we still need to travel. Every month that passes we are able to contribute enough money for me to be able to stay home without working at all for another month and that is going to be invaluable time with our little one!

Also this week Peter found out his company will allow him to take off 6 weeks paid when Dash comes home. That is going to be such an awesome blessing. Dash is going to need as much time as possible with both of his parents home and you really can't ask for much more than 6 weeks of paid paternity leave!!!

June Bug's Troubles

Our sweet little hairless baby always seems to find a way to keep those vet bills coming! If we were able to, she is definitely a pup that could use that pet health insurance.

First it was a staph infection

Then she ripped off a dew claw

Then she had other skin problems that she went in for

and now I had to take her in because she had a really bad ear infection. Juno hates going to the vet, but she actually did really well this time with them.

Apparently ear infections are quite expensive and $230 of our hard earned cash later we were on our way home. It is all worth it for our much loved puppy but it doesn't end there. Now we are doing allergy testing on her because she is consistently having skin problems. So she is on a special diet of bunny food (literally it is bunny and potatoes) for the next 8 weeks with no treats or scrap food and hopefully that will help fix her itchiness. Otherwise we will move on to some other tests and we don't want to have to do that.

They also want to do a biopsy on some bumps she has. The vet said he had never seen so many little bumps on a dog but he believes it could very well be just a part of her skin condition. We will eventually do that but with that costing $350 it is not high on our priority list right now.

Just when you think you are getting somewhere financially - stuff happens. We need to finish up on this last $6000 we need for the adoption travel expenses. Plus did you know baby stuff is really expensive? At least we've done a really great job of getting most of the baby stuff taken care of before now. Peter married himself a planner and while people may laugh, I sure am glad the baby's room is ready and we've got a closet full of diapers, wipes, formula, clothes, bottles, baby lotions - we're ready :)

We are starting to feel like we are entering "crunch time". I am doing everything I can to put myself into a position where I will not have to return to work after the baby comes home. We've been doing our best to save money so I can take at least 3 months off of work completely (saving is REALLY hard when you are also raising money for an adoption) and then if we can get our darn Jeep paid off - that will also release a lot of financial stress on us. It's going to be a close call on that one, but even if we can get that thing CLOSE to being paid off it will be a great victory :)

I am so glad we were introduced to Dave Ramsey's program a year ago!!! His program has given us a lot of peace of mind that we can and will have financial freedom someday!!! Being a stay at home mom is going to be a lot of work for our budget, but I know we can do it and it is definitely a decision that we will not regret!!!

The best thing is that my little June-bug is feeling MUCH better tonight and is on the mend!!!