Saturday, February 6, 2010

Seeking Sanity

My sanity is gone. If you find it, I would love to have it back!!! Alright, I admit it this adoption process has gotten the best of me! I have gone nuts!!!

Waiting is not my strong point and with this "waiting" phase of the process taking way longer then we expected it too - I am no longer having fun :)

I fortunately have an awesome adoption support group - some families who are way ahead of us in the process (like home for years with their children) and some way behind us (like considering signing on to adopt). A fellow blogging family who was instrumental in guiding us in our decision to adopt has been a great source of encouragement as I lose my mind! I appreciate the advice and the encouragement of friends and family but honestly, unless you've gone through it - you just don't understand.

People tell us "well, just know it will happen in God's timing." I totally understand that and I KNOW that completely, but that doesn't help while waiting on the perfect timing. I have actually had people tell me "Think of yourself like a woman who is trying to get pregnant and tests negative every month." Okay, for the record - I've been that woman and this feeling is NOTHING like that feeling. You see, I actually have a child out in this world right now that I know nothing about. I don't know if he's sick, or if he's getting fed, or if he has anyone to hold him and comfort him when he needs it. Totally different when I am wondering if my child is being taken care of.

So the best piece of REAL advice on how to endure this crazy wait is: distract yourself the best you can. So I'm working on a list of distractions. Actually, my mind was working on a list of distractions last night while I was sleeping. Seriously, I was literally making a mental list of distractions while I slept - I have gone crazy!!!

So as of yesterday here's where we stand:

For a girl we moved 5 spots last month to: #26

For siblings we moved 2 spots last month to: #12

For a boy we moved 5 spots last month to: #11

So assuming we are getting a boy we have 10 families in front of us that we are waiting to get kicked off the list :)

Just 10 families to reach all these goals that I am setting for myself. Okay, in reality I hope that we DO get our referral before I am able to accomplish all these goals, but if that does happen I have a whole other phase of waiting to battle through and continue on with my goals!

And I promise to keep you, my loyal blogging friends up to date on how it's all going and how close we are to getting that call.

So with that being said, here are my goals:

1) Clean the spare bedroom so it can be used for future goals

2) Catch up on scrap booking in family album

3) Start on Dash's Baby scrapbook and get it current

4) Baby proof all rooms in our house (one room a week) which includes:
Downstairs Bathroom/Laundry Room
Living Room
Formal Dining Room
Family Room
Master Bedroom
Master Bathroom
Mickey Bathroom
Spare Bedroom

5) Finish Nursery

6) Lost 7 more lbs (workout, workout, workout)

7) Finish reading Adopted for Life

8) Finish reading Clear and Present Danger

9) Try out 10 new recipes

10) Stock the freezer with freezer meals (goal is 2 full day cooking sessions by time of travel which would total over 75 meals in freezer!)

11) Get back into piano playing (goal of refreshing at least through 2 more levels)

12) Get dogs on track with obedience. (note: They've been doing so well on knowing their domain and following the rules of staying off the bed. I know if we work with them they will do great!)

13) Start budgeting in categories what we will actually be allotted to spend after Dash arrives and I stop working. Example of areas we are cutting back: Eating Out, Grocery (not counting our separate budget for diapers and formula), Entertainment, Misc.)

Yep, those distractions should keep me busy. While the wait is taking longer than we expected there are some pro's to it taking longer. Every month that passes we are able to contribute more and more money into our adoption account to try and help with the $6000 we still need to travel. Every month that passes we are able to contribute enough money for me to be able to stay home without working at all for another month and that is going to be invaluable time with our little one!

Also this week Peter found out his company will allow him to take off 6 weeks paid when Dash comes home. That is going to be such an awesome blessing. Dash is going to need as much time as possible with both of his parents home and you really can't ask for much more than 6 weeks of paid paternity leave!!!


Platinum Rose said...

Getting closer and closer! I am so excited for you and cannot wait for the day when you get to travel to meet your child! The wait definitely sucks, no matter how you cut it. I'm sorry!