Friday, October 8, 2010

Life in the Cocoon and 2 months!!!

2 months ago today we got to hold our son for the first time! These monthly milestones seem huge for us. I can't wait until we pass that 4 month milestone and he has been with us longer then he was waiting for us.

2 months in to this thing called parenting, we are doing pretty good. We are still learning everyday. The past few weeks we have been much more intentional about sticking with the cocooning. It was very hard at first because so many people wanted to meet him and then hold him and we wanted out of the house! He was holding up pretty well, but lately we had noticed he had started struggling through these interactions.

He has always had a hard time with big crowds. We took him to church one week because everyone wanted to meet him, but he had a really hard time that afternoon settling down. Usually he goes to sleep easily, but if he is out in a big crowd (like at my cousin's bridal shower) he will cry for a long time before settling down. We even started noticing this behavior in smaller groups of 5 to 6 people. I hate that I went against my first instincts in the beginning and allowed other people and their eagerness to meet him to push me into going out. It especially bothers me that I have allowed other's to hold him. This is something that always bothers me, even if people only hold him briefly, it just hasn't felt right. I don't want to be overly protective of him, but all of these things can be very hard on the child when you are trying to form an initial bond with your adopted child.

A little over two weeks ago we noticed that he was starting to become very fearful and startled when out with others. He would cry easily at noises and while he has done that sometimes, this was starting to happen all the time. We also noticed that the days we spent at home, this wasn't happening at all. We made the decision then to stick closer to home and do what we felt was best for him. While sitting at home most of the time can get hard, Malachi's behavior is showing that this time is paying off.

I am a little concerned about next week. At the beginning of the year we booked a vacation because our referral was supposed to be coming and we figured we would have been home for several months by the time this vacation arrived. Well, the referral took longer than we were told to expect and then court took 5 attempts and everything got pushed back. Fortunately we have been home for 2 months, but I still worry about how he will do. I will just keep a close eye on his behavior and I can't do everything I would like to do on this trip anwyway, so Mal and I will take things slow.

So life inside the cocoon is going well. I do admit, in my selfishness I am looking forward to getting out of the cocoon for vacation, but sitting at home is worth it for our little guy. My day consists of nap schedule's, feedings, baths, playtime, diaper changes, all that baby stuff :)

And here's some pictures of our normal day to day happenings:


*Tina* said...

he's adorable! try not to worry yourself too much about every reaction he has - and I know I am not an adoptive mom, so im sure you know more than me about it - but babies are so funny with the stages they go through. I found that Anna ALWAYS does better when we stay home vs going out/being around people, so it could just be a personality thing or a stage. I think you guys are doing a GREAT job and don't be too hard on yourself!!

i know i never comment, and i dont blog at all anymore but ive been following your whole story! :) glad you guys are doing so well.