This is Halloween!!!

Today is Malachi's very first Halloween and our very first holiday that he has been with us to celebrate!!!

Daddy worked hard to carve Malachi the pumpkin that mommy wanted Malachi to have :) It turned out great!!!

As you can see Malachi is growing quickly. We took him in for his 6 month check up this week and he weighs 21 lbs 3 ounces (95th percentile) and is 29" long (97th percentile) so he is still growing, growing, growing! We have had to pack up even more clothes and are now on to 12-18 month size which some of those are even a little snug. He is also really getting the hang of scooting and I bet we are just a week or so away from him full on crawling everywhere! We are in trouble :)

So stay tuned for some pictures of Malachi's first Halloween costume and of course I still need to post some Disneyland trip pictures :)

Happy Halloween!!!

6 Months

Malachi is 6 months old!!!

It has been a month of huge changes for Malachi. He has grown and changed so much! He has really gotten active and has learned how to roll in all different directions to get where he wants to go. The day after he turned 6 months old, he also was able to get up on his knees and start pushing forward. He does a face plant, but he is definitely figuring out this crawling business.

He has also started saying "dada" and he hoots like an owl quite a bit. We have started baby sign language with him and while he can't sign "milk" yet, when we do that sign to him he definitely knows the bottle is coming!

Another thing about Malachi is: He loves to eat!!!

In the past month Malachi has finished up trying all the baby food first foods and has moved on to second foods. His definite favorites are still pears and sweet potatoes. He has started showing a huge interest in what is on our plates so more and more we are letting him taste what we eat. He loved my cheddar mashed potatoes in Disneyland. He also loves Strawberry/Apple puffs, goldfish crackers, and sucking the juices out of pineapple!!! A few foods that he wasn't sure about the texture were jello, cheese, and watermelon. He is our champion eater though :)

It has been incredible watching him this past month as he has become more interactive, has started observing more of the world around him, and has started to become more coordinated. He is SO precious and we couldn't love him anymore!!!

It's a.............

Cute and tiny little baby :)

Today was our much anticipated 20 week anatomy scan. We did it bright and early since Peter had to go to work after the appointment. The appointment went well and I was totally jealous as Peter got to watch the whole thing, while I just had to lay there not seeing what was happening on the screen while someone pressed really hard on my bladder.

The baby was not very cooperative. Peter kept laughing because s/he was moving around a lot. The baby was also facing my spine and hiding as low as possible in my pelvis which made it very difficult for the technician to get a good view of the heart and brain (hence all the hard pushing on my bladder). I am telling you, we have a stubborn ornery kid coming :)

Finally at the end, I was able to get a good (but quick) glimpse of the baby. It was fun to get to see just how complexly put together the baby already is. The baby is measuring exactly to my due date and is weighing in at a whopping 11 ounces :)

Tomorrow we go back and meet with my doctor to get the results of the ultrasound, although the technician said that he thought everything looked good!

Here's a few pictures of our little cutie:

Sucking his/her thumb:

Face profile:

Foot:

20 weeks

Already at 20 weeks and just starting to look pregnant. Over the last couple nights sleeping on my tummy has become uncomfortable so I am struggling to adjust to new sleeping positions.

How far along: 20 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: Down 1 lb from starting weight. Doctor is not happy with my lack of weight gain but I am eating so hopefully baby is growing!
Stretch marks: no
Maternity clothes: yes, everything but my at home loungewear is now maternity
Sleep: I still want a lot of sleep and am tired a lot. I toss and turn a lot at night now that I can't sleep comfortably on my tummy. I have started sleeping with a big pillow between my legs and that seems to help.
Food cravings/aversions: Pineapple and Strawberries, and Coca-Cola
Gender: We can find out gender tomorrow at our ultrasound, but not going to, but my guess is still a girl.
Movement: Started feeling movement like a goldfish in the tummy around 17 weeks, by 18 weeks I was able to feel kicks from the outside. Mostly the movement is when I am sitting still or laying down, but I am definitely feeling more and more kicks throughout the day!
Best moment this week: Feeling the baby move around a lot - it is pretty cool!
What I miss: I don't have a lot of clothes to choose from right now and I am tired of having a lot of nausea.
I am looking forward to: TOMORROW! I can't wait for the big ultrasound!!!
Weekly Wisdom: Try and enjoy everything because the pregnancy is going so fast!
Milestones: Halfway Point!!!

Life in the Cocoon and 2 months!!!

2 months ago today we got to hold our son for the first time! These monthly milestones seem huge for us. I can't wait until we pass that 4 month milestone and he has been with us longer then he was waiting for us.

2 months in to this thing called parenting, we are doing pretty good. We are still learning everyday. The past few weeks we have been much more intentional about sticking with the cocooning. It was very hard at first because so many people wanted to meet him and then hold him and we wanted out of the house! He was holding up pretty well, but lately we had noticed he had started struggling through these interactions.

He has always had a hard time with big crowds. We took him to church one week because everyone wanted to meet him, but he had a really hard time that afternoon settling down. Usually he goes to sleep easily, but if he is out in a big crowd (like at my cousin's bridal shower) he will cry for a long time before settling down. We even started noticing this behavior in smaller groups of 5 to 6 people. I hate that I went against my first instincts in the beginning and allowed other people and their eagerness to meet him to push me into going out. It especially bothers me that I have allowed other's to hold him. This is something that always bothers me, even if people only hold him briefly, it just hasn't felt right. I don't want to be overly protective of him, but all of these things can be very hard on the child when you are trying to form an initial bond with your adopted child.

A little over two weeks ago we noticed that he was starting to become very fearful and startled when out with others. He would cry easily at noises and while he has done that sometimes, this was starting to happen all the time. We also noticed that the days we spent at home, this wasn't happening at all. We made the decision then to stick closer to home and do what we felt was best for him. While sitting at home most of the time can get hard, Malachi's behavior is showing that this time is paying off.

I am a little concerned about next week. At the beginning of the year we booked a vacation because our referral was supposed to be coming and we figured we would have been home for several months by the time this vacation arrived. Well, the referral took longer than we were told to expect and then court took 5 attempts and everything got pushed back. Fortunately we have been home for 2 months, but I still worry about how he will do. I will just keep a close eye on his behavior and I can't do everything I would like to do on this trip anwyway, so Mal and I will take things slow.

So life inside the cocoon is going well. I do admit, in my selfishness I am looking forward to getting out of the cocoon for vacation, but sitting at home is worth it for our little guy. My day consists of nap schedule's, feedings, baths, playtime, diaper changes, all that baby stuff :)

And here's some pictures of our normal day to day happenings:

Comparison's

Experiencing a pregnancy right after completing an adoption leads me to comparing the two experiences. It is really cool to get to experience both "methods" of becoming parents. One of the biggest comparison's is definitely the timeline. Pregnancy is flying by and knowing that this baby will be born around early March is so much easier than having no clue of when your little one would be arriving home.

My love for both of my little one's was similar. From the moment we made the decision to adopt, I loved our little one. I carried them around in my heart everywhere. Same thing with this pregnancy. As unexpected and terrifying it was to see that positive line on the pregnancy test, I was happy and in love. Adoption was such an emotional journey. It was so difficult on a deep emotional level and just drained me. Pregnancy has been a very physical journey. I have not felt well in months, I am still constantly exhausted and waiting for that second trimester energy burst to arrive. I am so tired of just not feeling well, much like how I felt emotionally with the adoption.

The two journey's were so completely different, and yet similar and now, with both journey's I have experienced the moment that just stops you in your tracks.

With our adoption, I had lots of amazing moments (getting accepted, getting on the wait list, passing court and knowing he was legally ours) but the stop me in my tracks moment occurred when the call came. I was so depressed and so sooo tired of waiting. The day, May 4th that the call came I had spent my entire morning at work praying for that call to come. Specifically I prayed that it would happen between 11:00 and 11:15, while I was on lunch and Peter thought that would be the ideal time for him too. As I was on lunch, I was just praying, with my phone in my hand that the call would come. Miraculously at 11:10 my phone rang and it was our agency. I finally heard those amazing words "I have a little boy I would like to talk to you about!" and I was stopped in my tracks. It was a perfect moment in my life!

Yesterday I had that moment with this pregnancy. I was kind of in a panicked state of worry. I was worried about how I was going to handle this second part of pregnancy physically. I worry about how my back problems are going to handle this second part. I was worried about how we would parent two little one's under a year old. I was worried about our finances. I finally gave it all up and as I laid in bed I prayed for peace and calmness. I don't even notice it, but I often rest my hands on my tummy. As I laid there, I felt a very strong kick! I almost didn't believe it. For the past couple weeks I have been feeling movement, like a goldfish in my tummy but nothing I could feel from outside. I almost didn't believe it, but then it happened again! It seriously stopped me in my tracks!

All day I have been trying to see if it would happen again. I was beginning to think it was a fluke but just a little bit ago, I felt another strong kick with my hand. It is pretty cool and exciting!!!

So pregnancy and adoption - very different, but the same. They both contain difficult moments. They both can be frustrating. They both have moments that will stop you dead in your tracks and in the end, they both produce the most amazing gift!!!