I am laying in bed doing some reading on adoption and attachment and bonding. We've been physically doing so much for the adoption - decorating the nursery, registering for gifts, buying things we will need, fundraising that we have forgotten about our agency recommended reading. I am feeling a little under the weather tonight and Peter is busy studying so I lay in bed reading books. It is easy in all the excitement to forget about the very real and possibly not very easy transition our family may go through.
Those first 9 months with mom are so critical for a child and our baby will lose that bond. We are thrilled and excited to bring our baby home but for him it could be a totally different experience. He is going to have no clue about how much we have been looking forward to holding him. He is going to lose everything familiar - the people, the smells, the noises, and be brought into a world full of white people, totally different smells, and very different noises. We may hold him differently then he's used to. Bathe him and feed him different foods that he is not familiar with.
The first few weeks are so important to his attachment with us and his understanding that we are his parents. From what other families are telling us, it will take years to see if he actually made that connection with us early on. Most children do bond quickly with their parents but some suffer from attachment disorders for life. So we definitely want to proceed cautiously and do everything we can to make the transition for our baby as smooth as possible and give us the best chance to have an adjusted and bonded child.
The top suggestions to make this happen are:
Be his sole providers by being the only one's to feed, change, and soothe
Call him by his first name (his new name) and his middle name (his Ethiopian name) for awhile since he will probably recognize his Ethiopian name. This gives him time to adjust and learn his new name.
Limit time spent out of the house. Read his signs and signals and don't push it.
Wear him in an infant carrier as much as possible while at home and out of the house
Shower with him to promote skin to skin contact
Massage him, sing to him, rock him often
Have him co-sleep so his needs are immediately met and also for skin to skin contact
Always have his mother feed him. Mimic nursing him (leaving bottle stationary so he has to come to it) - complete with demanding eye contact, position of holding him, switching sides (which promotes both sides of brain development)
Limit visitors so as not to confuse him or overstimulate him
Be sure everyone is healthy who visits as his immune system will be weak.
This is the list we have of recommended behaviors. It is also recommended that we cocoon ourselves in our home with just us and him for the first 2 months but I don't see that happening. We will definitely be limiting visitors and limiting who gets to hold him and we definitely will be the one's always taking care of his needs (feeding, changing, consoling). We Will utilize several of the above recommendations but not sure on all of them yet.
One of the things our agency requires of us after referral is to make a written transition plan of how we want the first few months home with baby to look like. What we will do to bond with our child and what type of restrictions we will have on visitors. We know family and friends will be very anxious to get to know our little one and we are going to do our best to share, but we hope that everyone can be understanding of this critical time in our family. I am sure we will probably make decisions that others do not understand but we have to do what we think is best. We are discussing what our plans will be after arriving home with our baby and how we want the first few weeks and months to be. There is a lot to figure out and plan for this critical time but we still have time to work out all the details.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Fears, Worries, Doubts.
So I had shared awhile back about how we felt like satan was attacking our marriage (due to our decision to adopt) and not really causing problems but just causing more stress and tension in our relationship than we are used to. We started putting more effort into our relationship and creating quality time together and being more patient with one another and things are happily back to normal :)
I am a born worrier but lately I feel like this is satan's new and improved tactic at messing with my brain :) I really enjoy the holiday's and I enjoy buying gifts for people but it always seems like "Murphy" hits around this time of year and this year is no exception. So worrying about the holidays plus worrying about ALL the things we need to buy for a baby plus worrying about how in the world we're going to pay for the rest of this adoption - makes for way too much worrying.
Work has sucked lately and I just can't wait to be done. Then that adds a whole other sense of worry to life. I am excited to stay home, but I worry about that. Losing my income is not going to be easy and will definitely be an adjustment. I need to figure out some plan to supplement at least half of my income and that is scary. What if I can't do it?
Then I get to the point that I worry about our Dave Ramsey plan and I have this car payment and a ton of money in something wonderful called College Loans. When will we pay these off?
See how my mind goes from something simple and easy like affording Christmas this year to the weight of the world on my shoulders?
I know that I am not supposed to worry about anything and God is constantly reminding me of that but sometimes I just can't help it. I hear time and time again from God "Trust Me" "Give me control" but I am a woman - I trust no one (although I do trust Peter completely, but struggle with trusting God - hmmm, somethings wrong with that, I know) and I must control everything.
In fun stuff: I joined this awesome website that basically connects you with companies who want you to throw a party with your friends and family using their products and thus advertising for them. So far I have not been picked for any of these parties but I will keep trying :) Something cool though is that one of their companies (shutterfly) just offered a deal to the first so many people giving them a free photo book! You get to customize the book with your photos and captions and they put it in a neatly bound book and mail it to you. So I hurried up and responded and got myself a free photo book on the way! Whoohoo! I love free stuff :)
Also since getting the dossier out of our house I imagine that packet of paperwork has gone on quite the journey and has seen wonderful places :) From our home, to our agency, and I imagine now that it is either on its way or in Washington D.C. right now. The next step for our paperwork is authentication which takes place at the White House and includes our very own Secretary of State Hillary Clinton signing it. How special ;) From there it comes back to Portland and then it takes the long journey to Addis Ababa Ethiopia where the Ministry of Women's Affairs will review it and someday it will meet up with our precious child and his birth mother in a court room where our baby will officially become a Keyser! What a journey that paperwork will take and hopefully it won't get lost on its journey.
I am a born worrier but lately I feel like this is satan's new and improved tactic at messing with my brain :) I really enjoy the holiday's and I enjoy buying gifts for people but it always seems like "Murphy" hits around this time of year and this year is no exception. So worrying about the holidays plus worrying about ALL the things we need to buy for a baby plus worrying about how in the world we're going to pay for the rest of this adoption - makes for way too much worrying.
Work has sucked lately and I just can't wait to be done. Then that adds a whole other sense of worry to life. I am excited to stay home, but I worry about that. Losing my income is not going to be easy and will definitely be an adjustment. I need to figure out some plan to supplement at least half of my income and that is scary. What if I can't do it?
Then I get to the point that I worry about our Dave Ramsey plan and I have this car payment and a ton of money in something wonderful called College Loans. When will we pay these off?
See how my mind goes from something simple and easy like affording Christmas this year to the weight of the world on my shoulders?
I know that I am not supposed to worry about anything and God is constantly reminding me of that but sometimes I just can't help it. I hear time and time again from God "Trust Me" "Give me control" but I am a woman - I trust no one (although I do trust Peter completely, but struggle with trusting God - hmmm, somethings wrong with that, I know) and I must control everything.
In fun stuff: I joined this awesome website that basically connects you with companies who want you to throw a party with your friends and family using their products and thus advertising for them. So far I have not been picked for any of these parties but I will keep trying :) Something cool though is that one of their companies (shutterfly) just offered a deal to the first so many people giving them a free photo book! You get to customize the book with your photos and captions and they put it in a neatly bound book and mail it to you. So I hurried up and responded and got myself a free photo book on the way! Whoohoo! I love free stuff :)
Also since getting the dossier out of our house I imagine that packet of paperwork has gone on quite the journey and has seen wonderful places :) From our home, to our agency, and I imagine now that it is either on its way or in Washington D.C. right now. The next step for our paperwork is authentication which takes place at the White House and includes our very own Secretary of State Hillary Clinton signing it. How special ;) From there it comes back to Portland and then it takes the long journey to Addis Ababa Ethiopia where the Ministry of Women's Affairs will review it and someday it will meet up with our precious child and his birth mother in a court room where our baby will officially become a Keyser! What a journey that paperwork will take and hopefully it won't get lost on its journey.
Friday, November 6, 2009
So far so good!
So it was one week ago today that we officially started the "waiting" process. Some say this is the hardest part of the adoption process. I can see how it could become that way depending on your situation. Like for countries like China where it takes at least 5 years of waiting. For us this has been the most relaxing week of this process.
3 and a half months of worrying and running places to get paperwork completed and worrying again about whether we filled that piece of paperwork out the way it needed to be filled out are now behind us. No more worrying about whether or not the State or the FBI or a social worker will deny us our request. (Ok I still have to worry a little about The Department of Homeland Security, but I'm pretty sure they will let an infant into the country.)
Waiting is not always a bad thing. We can try to prepare ourselves for the change that will happen to our family. We can physically prepare our home and a nursery for a baby. (Which by the way we are starting on the nursery today!) We can start buying all the things we will need. We can do our best to prepare ourselves emotionally for an adopted child to enter our home. We can read books and come up with plans. Some transitions are perfect and easy for families to make with an adopted child but some are not easy (infants or older children). We have to be prepared for a difficult transition. Since this will be our first child, I am sure there will be a time of transition regardless of whether our baby bonds or attaches to us instantly. We have to come up with our family plan of how the first few weeks and months with our baby will go as far as visitors and schedules and such. We have to form a secure bond with our child before we introduce others into his/her circle and we don't know how long that will take. We hope it happens quickly but we have to prepare for the possibility that it could take months or even years.
So I am glad for this little break in the action. We need time to prepare. As soon as we made the decision to adopt we had a lot of things we needed to get done and to get them done as fast as possible. Now we wait. We have a few short months to prepare and then we will be very busy again and anxious for court and then for travel. So it is nice to have some time to just let our racing and aching hearts relax. I am looking forward to getting my referral but we need a little time to emotionally, physically, mentally, AND financially prepare for that day to come! As soon as the holiday's are over - I will be ready :)
Today we received our updated wait list numbers. The normal schedule is at the beginning of every month. Since they gave us our last numbers on October 30th (the day we were wait listed) I did not expect any change. There was not a big change in the numbers but any change was enough to make my day!
Notice that I was able to remove 2 links from our chains!
Each one of these links represents an orphaned child and a family hoping and waiting! In one weeks time I was able to remove one link from the boy list and one link from the girl list. Two more forever families!!!
Our official November wait list numbers are:
Girl - 42 (was 43)
Boy - 20 (was 21)
Siblings - 14 (stayed at 14)
So now we wait out this month and come the beginning of December we will get new numbers and hopefully there will be lots of activity to report!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Words cannot describe....
Words cannot describe how we are feeling right now. We are so happy and so excited! We are going to be parents!!! 3 and 1/2 months ago we made the decision to adopt a baby from Ethiopia. We knew the journey would not be easy (possibly the hardest thing we've ever done) but in the end, it would be the most worthwhile thing we've ever done.
On July 12th 2009 we jumped headfirst into what we thought God was telling us to do! We didn't have $27,000 laying around. We didn't know how to start the process, we didn't know anything except that we needed to adopt a child halfway around the world.
We spent that entire Sunday researching agencies and gathering information. We slept on it, but the next day we thought we had found our agency and so we already filled out a pre-application form and waited. We did not have to wait long and by Tuesday we had been pre-approved for Ethiopia!
We continued to pray about this. It was scary and very exciting all at the same time. By Wednesday we had already received an information packet and official application in the mail. We were moving right along! That Friday we went up to our agency's office and met with them and asked all the right questions and officially turned in our application!
Then we had our first "waiting period". Our application would not be reviewed by the social services department until Wednesday the 22nd Peter's, 23rd Birthday. Now the ironic thing about this is that we both had to be 23 in order to adopt. God definitely had his hand in all of this.
Wednesday came quickly and I remember getting the call at work - I was nervous and she told us we were officially accepted into the Ethiopia program! Wheh, we made it out of the starting gate!
By the next day we had recieved our orientation packet with a bunch of contracts we needed to sign and a very large check that needed to go out with them! We certainly did not have that type of money laying around, but we did our best to scrounge up the money. We had 3 months to come up with this money and we thought we might need every bit of those 3 months to come up with that kind of money.
Within 1 week, God provided the funds necessary to turn in our orientation packet. On our 3rd wedding anniversary July 29th, we had the last of the money we needed to continue on the journey.
We turned in our packet and quickly recieved our home study and dossier planners in the mail. We were finally overwhelmed by the daunting stacks of paperwork we needed to compile. My life became these documents! I was very proud of myself that within 3 weeks I had completed all of our home study paperwork and we were able to get it out of the house. Unfortunately our state fingerprinting process became a real pain, real fast. We were ready to proceed, but without the fingerprints we could not. The state fingerprints were a thorn in my side for 9 weeks, but we finally received the clearance we had been waiting for in the mail on October 13th!
We were ready to get the home study done so we could complete the dossier which had been in our house, ready to go, for several weeks. Our social worker started the home visits immediately and the next 2 weeks became a whirlwind of activity in our house. Cleaning for home visits, having a 4 hour visit that went until 10 at night. Finishing up the home study. The report was completed within 2 days, we just had to wait until over the weekend!
This week has been an emotional rollercoaster and yet, we were pretty calm about it all and knew what we needed to do. We needed to pray. We prayed and prayed this week that things would come together. This past Monday things looked very bleak that we would get wait listed this week. One more week wouldn't have been horrible, but I just felt like we had to get on the lists this week. There was so much to get sorted out, but I felt like we needed to get on the lists this week to get "our baby".
Tuesday brought more bad news that other things needed to get sorted through. I had a few phone calls with our social worker on Tuesday and Wednesday brought no news. I really wanted to bug them on Wednesday but I could feel God telling me to leave it alone, and just pray. Thursday we got word that our home study was under review and needed a few changes. Wow! That was another miracle. We were told 5-7 business days and this was 2!!! We were so close! God was listening and giving us the miracle we had been asking for! Still a lot needed to be sorted through on Friday for it to happen. We continued to pray all day Friday and I received word at noon on Friday that the home study was finalized and she would look through our dossier and get back to me by the end of the day! Things were moving, but if one little thing in our dossier was not done correctly we would not get our numbers. It came down to the wire but a few minutes before the office closed we got the phone call we've been waiting weeks for!
We were on the wait lists! Such a feeling of emotions! We were done with the paper chase. We are now waiting for our baby! We are so happy and so excited and amazed at the miracle God provided for us this week. It truly is a miracle that things got sorted out.
Our first official waitlist numbers are:
On July 12th 2009 we jumped headfirst into what we thought God was telling us to do! We didn't have $27,000 laying around. We didn't know how to start the process, we didn't know anything except that we needed to adopt a child halfway around the world.
We spent that entire Sunday researching agencies and gathering information. We slept on it, but the next day we thought we had found our agency and so we already filled out a pre-application form and waited. We did not have to wait long and by Tuesday we had been pre-approved for Ethiopia!
We continued to pray about this. It was scary and very exciting all at the same time. By Wednesday we had already received an information packet and official application in the mail. We were moving right along! That Friday we went up to our agency's office and met with them and asked all the right questions and officially turned in our application!
Then we had our first "waiting period". Our application would not be reviewed by the social services department until Wednesday the 22nd Peter's, 23rd Birthday. Now the ironic thing about this is that we both had to be 23 in order to adopt. God definitely had his hand in all of this.
Wednesday came quickly and I remember getting the call at work - I was nervous and she told us we were officially accepted into the Ethiopia program! Wheh, we made it out of the starting gate!
By the next day we had recieved our orientation packet with a bunch of contracts we needed to sign and a very large check that needed to go out with them! We certainly did not have that type of money laying around, but we did our best to scrounge up the money. We had 3 months to come up with this money and we thought we might need every bit of those 3 months to come up with that kind of money.
Within 1 week, God provided the funds necessary to turn in our orientation packet. On our 3rd wedding anniversary July 29th, we had the last of the money we needed to continue on the journey.
We turned in our packet and quickly recieved our home study and dossier planners in the mail. We were finally overwhelmed by the daunting stacks of paperwork we needed to compile. My life became these documents! I was very proud of myself that within 3 weeks I had completed all of our home study paperwork and we were able to get it out of the house. Unfortunately our state fingerprinting process became a real pain, real fast. We were ready to proceed, but without the fingerprints we could not. The state fingerprints were a thorn in my side for 9 weeks, but we finally received the clearance we had been waiting for in the mail on October 13th!
We were ready to get the home study done so we could complete the dossier which had been in our house, ready to go, for several weeks. Our social worker started the home visits immediately and the next 2 weeks became a whirlwind of activity in our house. Cleaning for home visits, having a 4 hour visit that went until 10 at night. Finishing up the home study. The report was completed within 2 days, we just had to wait until over the weekend!
This week has been an emotional rollercoaster and yet, we were pretty calm about it all and knew what we needed to do. We needed to pray. We prayed and prayed this week that things would come together. This past Monday things looked very bleak that we would get wait listed this week. One more week wouldn't have been horrible, but I just felt like we had to get on the lists this week. There was so much to get sorted out, but I felt like we needed to get on the lists this week to get "our baby".
Tuesday brought more bad news that other things needed to get sorted through. I had a few phone calls with our social worker on Tuesday and Wednesday brought no news. I really wanted to bug them on Wednesday but I could feel God telling me to leave it alone, and just pray. Thursday we got word that our home study was under review and needed a few changes. Wow! That was another miracle. We were told 5-7 business days and this was 2!!! We were so close! God was listening and giving us the miracle we had been asking for! Still a lot needed to be sorted through on Friday for it to happen. We continued to pray all day Friday and I received word at noon on Friday that the home study was finalized and she would look through our dossier and get back to me by the end of the day! Things were moving, but if one little thing in our dossier was not done correctly we would not get our numbers. It came down to the wire but a few minutes before the office closed we got the phone call we've been waiting weeks for!
We were on the wait lists! Such a feeling of emotions! We were done with the paper chase. We are now waiting for our baby! We are so happy and so excited and amazed at the miracle God provided for us this week. It truly is a miracle that things got sorted out.
Our first official waitlist numbers are:
Siblings - 14
Boy - 21
Girl - 43
We can finally prepare for this baby to come in to our family. This is real, this is going to happen! We are now entering another stage of waiting, but at least this time we know we will be moving closer to our baby! We are at such a high point in this journey and with all the lows of the past few months we feel great! Now we can prepare and anticipate the call from our case worker where she will say "There is a baby I would like to talk with you about!"
We are coming for you Baby Dash!!!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Time to take a deep breath and ...... relax
We can take a breather for awhile now.
Now I know this isn't our adoption blog, but I wanted to post this on our family blog too as this is important information!
If you missed the post below about our trip to see Dave Ramsey - check that one out too, it's good, solid information!
This is 3 months of our lives:
I know it doesn't look like much, but we have put a ton of work into these documents right here. Our dossier is officially complete and we are just waiting on word that the agency has received our home study for review and we will be able to turn our dossier in! It feels so good to be done with the paperwork!
I remember the day we received our home study and dossier binders in the mail. I felt so overwhelmed by all the information we needed to compile. Slowly, step by step it all came together. This very information will be put in the mail and travel all the way to Addis Ababa Ethiopia where the Ministry of Women's Affairs will look over all this information and determine if we would make good parents to an Ethiopian child. Very important documents!
Once they approve us (hopefully) they will hold on to it until a child has been referred to us and a court date has been granted. The judge will ask the Ministry of Women's Affairs for a determination on the case and once they give favorable determination we will be able to go and hold our baby!
We are hopeful that possibly this week we will be given our first official wait list numbers and then we wait for a few months. We are still hopeful that come January or February we will get "the call" that will forever change our lives!
We are both very excited to get our dossier turned in. Another huge step closer to bringing home our baby!
Now I know this isn't our adoption blog, but I wanted to post this on our family blog too as this is important information!
If you missed the post below about our trip to see Dave Ramsey - check that one out too, it's good, solid information!
This is 3 months of our lives:
I know it doesn't look like much, but we have put a ton of work into these documents right here. Our dossier is officially complete and we are just waiting on word that the agency has received our home study for review and we will be able to turn our dossier in! It feels so good to be done with the paperwork!I remember the day we received our home study and dossier binders in the mail. I felt so overwhelmed by all the information we needed to compile. Slowly, step by step it all came together. This very information will be put in the mail and travel all the way to Addis Ababa Ethiopia where the Ministry of Women's Affairs will look over all this information and determine if we would make good parents to an Ethiopian child. Very important documents!
Once they approve us (hopefully) they will hold on to it until a child has been referred to us and a court date has been granted. The judge will ask the Ministry of Women's Affairs for a determination on the case and once they give favorable determination we will be able to go and hold our baby!
We are hopeful that possibly this week we will be given our first official wait list numbers and then we wait for a few months. We are still hopeful that come January or February we will get "the call" that will forever change our lives!
We are both very excited to get our dossier turned in. Another huge step closer to bringing home our baby!
Our Total Money Makeover
Yesterday we had the opportunity to meet our hero - Dave Ramsey in Portland. In January of this past year we were introduced to the Total Money Makeover and jumped right into step 2 of his program - Paying off all debt. We worked very hard the first six months of this year to pay off as much as we could, even with the glitch of Peter being laid off for 6 weeks - it did not stop us! We ate beans and rice for lunch and dinner for the first 6 months of this year. We made some sacrifices but were able to pay off around $15,000 in debt in just 6 months! The debt reduction has kind of come to a stand still as we felt lead to adopt and adopting is kind of expensive :)
Dave's principles are pretty simple and kind of a no brainer, but we need it to be a no-brainer. It is by no means easy, but I think that anyone can succeed by following his principles. We hope to work our way through his ENTIRE program and someday reach the coveted 7th Step - Build Wealth and Give.
Here are some startling facts:
If a 30 year old couple made 48 grand a year and saved 15% in a 401K at 12% growth at 70 they would have: over 7 million dollars!
That same couple could fully fund a Roth's IRA at only $5000 a year at 12% growth at 70 they would have (tax free at that) almost 1o million dollars!
If they did both of these things they would have almost 17 MILLION DOLLARS!!
70% of consumers live paycheck to paycheck
The average American household has $91,000 in debt
In 1929 only 2% of homes had mortgages (by 1962 only 2% did not have mortgages)
60% of baby boomers will not have the means to support their standard of living after retirement
Here's a quick rundown of the Total Money Makeover
Step 1 - $1000 in an Emergency Fund
This one he really encourages people to finish in about a month. Sell stuff, get another job, do whatever you have to do to get this one done as fast as possible. We were fortunate enough to have this one completed before starting the program!
He went off about buying new cars and yes I am guilty of that one, but I will never make that mistake again. Most millionaires drive used cars - that is a fact. Obviously they know something. The average new car loses $360 worth of value per month!!! That is crazy. That is more then our car payment is!!!
If I did not have a car payment and I invested the money I spent every month on my car payment instead of blowing it on something going down in value - I would be rich in a matter of 10 years! I hate thinking about that. Our debt we are working on right now is our car and I cannot way to have that one behind me. He has no problem with people who have the cash to buy a nice car buying a nice car, but when you actually look at the numbers - buying a new car and paying on it every month is a really stupid thing to do.
Step 2 - Pay off all Debt
This step usually takes people a couple of years to complete. We have a good 6 months of hard work on this one (and $15,000 less debt!) Whenever we are able to start back up on this one we are going to work hard and hope to meet that 2 year goal! This one has taken a lot of hard work on our parts to stay on it and get this debt paid off, but at the end of the month it is exciting to sit down and get to see the numbers drop!
He recommends starting with the debts you owe the least amount of money on and only pay minimums on all other debts. As soon as you pay the small one off, pay off the next largest and the next largest until you are eventually to your biggest debt and throwing all extra money at it! We have our car payment (grrrrr) and then one very large student loan and then we will be able to call Dave Ramsey and yell "WE'RE DEBT FREEEEEE!!!"
Step 3 - 3 to 6 months in savings
Dave says this is the most important step to wives and I feel that way about this one. Women need to feel secure financially or we stress out big time. He says as soon as your wife knows this one is fully funded he promises that her personality and emotions will change. Dave says this step usually takes 6 months to a year to complete. It will be nice to have an umbrella over our heads someday!
Steps 4 and 5 go together:
Step 4 - Invest 15% of income in an IRA or pre-tax retirement plan
Without having debt, it is easy to put money in investments. He says this one can be a lot of fun and he preaches diversity and starting as young as possible on this one.
Step 5 - College Funds for children
This step is something I never thought would be possible for us to do, but our kids not having to deal with student loans is important to me and if we can help them get an education then I would love to do this one.
70% of students have to take out student loans so I know it is a very "normal" thing to do, but how nice would it be to not have that hanging over you for ten years after you graduate? As long as we start a fund before our oldest is 7 years old Dave says we should be able to fully fund a college account for them!
Step 6 - Pay off your home early
As much as I would love to think this is the house we will be in for the long haul, I am sure we will outgrow it. If you don't have other debts to pay it shouldn't be too hard to pay a lot of money on your home loan. Dave says it take the average person around 7 years to pay off their home.
Now we will probably have to move again before this one is complete, but his recommendation if we must take out a mortgage is only to take out a 15 year mortgage and spend no more than 25% of your take home pay on your mortgage. Hope our real estate agent can help us get a steal on a house next time ;)
Now for the one one that I really really want to get to:
Step 7 - Build wealth and give!
Money is not evil. Money should be fun. Dave says the best part about having lots of money is giving it away to people who need it. The idea of being financially secure at a young age and being able to help others - help the poor, help the homeless, and to help the ORPHANS - that is where our heart is really at. Trips, jewelry, nice things - yeah that all sounds wonderful but we truly do want to help others. We would love to start a non-profit and help families adopt, or help open orphan homes around the world. It all takes time, which when you have bills to pay, you gotta work all the time - and it takes money.
I have already seen amazing blessings poured out on us from God as we started this program in January. God does not desire for us to be indebted to anyone so now that we see some of the stupid choices we've made - we want to change course and He is helping us out of this hole we dug. It is not easy, and it is taking daily sacrifices and saying no to buying things that we would love to have.
We feel like as much as we look stupid to others around us and people made fun of us as we ate beans and rice all the time - but $15,000 were paid off the first half of this year - who's getting the last laugh? If normal is going farther in to debt and filing bankruptcy and spending more than you make, and buying cars that lose value faster than you pay for them - then I am okay with being weird!!!
Dave's principles are pretty simple and kind of a no brainer, but we need it to be a no-brainer. It is by no means easy, but I think that anyone can succeed by following his principles. We hope to work our way through his ENTIRE program and someday reach the coveted 7th Step - Build Wealth and Give.
Here are some startling facts:
If a 30 year old couple made 48 grand a year and saved 15% in a 401K at 12% growth at 70 they would have: over 7 million dollars!
That same couple could fully fund a Roth's IRA at only $5000 a year at 12% growth at 70 they would have (tax free at that) almost 1o million dollars!
If they did both of these things they would have almost 17 MILLION DOLLARS!!
70% of consumers live paycheck to paycheck
The average American household has $91,000 in debt
In 1929 only 2% of homes had mortgages (by 1962 only 2% did not have mortgages)
60% of baby boomers will not have the means to support their standard of living after retirement
Here's a quick rundown of the Total Money Makeover
Step 1 - $1000 in an Emergency Fund
This one he really encourages people to finish in about a month. Sell stuff, get another job, do whatever you have to do to get this one done as fast as possible. We were fortunate enough to have this one completed before starting the program!
He went off about buying new cars and yes I am guilty of that one, but I will never make that mistake again. Most millionaires drive used cars - that is a fact. Obviously they know something. The average new car loses $360 worth of value per month!!! That is crazy. That is more then our car payment is!!!
If I did not have a car payment and I invested the money I spent every month on my car payment instead of blowing it on something going down in value - I would be rich in a matter of 10 years! I hate thinking about that. Our debt we are working on right now is our car and I cannot way to have that one behind me. He has no problem with people who have the cash to buy a nice car buying a nice car, but when you actually look at the numbers - buying a new car and paying on it every month is a really stupid thing to do.
Step 2 - Pay off all Debt
This step usually takes people a couple of years to complete. We have a good 6 months of hard work on this one (and $15,000 less debt!) Whenever we are able to start back up on this one we are going to work hard and hope to meet that 2 year goal! This one has taken a lot of hard work on our parts to stay on it and get this debt paid off, but at the end of the month it is exciting to sit down and get to see the numbers drop!
He recommends starting with the debts you owe the least amount of money on and only pay minimums on all other debts. As soon as you pay the small one off, pay off the next largest and the next largest until you are eventually to your biggest debt and throwing all extra money at it! We have our car payment (grrrrr) and then one very large student loan and then we will be able to call Dave Ramsey and yell "WE'RE DEBT FREEEEEE!!!"
Step 3 - 3 to 6 months in savings
Dave says this is the most important step to wives and I feel that way about this one. Women need to feel secure financially or we stress out big time. He says as soon as your wife knows this one is fully funded he promises that her personality and emotions will change. Dave says this step usually takes 6 months to a year to complete. It will be nice to have an umbrella over our heads someday!
Steps 4 and 5 go together:
Step 4 - Invest 15% of income in an IRA or pre-tax retirement plan
Without having debt, it is easy to put money in investments. He says this one can be a lot of fun and he preaches diversity and starting as young as possible on this one.
Step 5 - College Funds for children
This step is something I never thought would be possible for us to do, but our kids not having to deal with student loans is important to me and if we can help them get an education then I would love to do this one.
70% of students have to take out student loans so I know it is a very "normal" thing to do, but how nice would it be to not have that hanging over you for ten years after you graduate? As long as we start a fund before our oldest is 7 years old Dave says we should be able to fully fund a college account for them!
Step 6 - Pay off your home early
As much as I would love to think this is the house we will be in for the long haul, I am sure we will outgrow it. If you don't have other debts to pay it shouldn't be too hard to pay a lot of money on your home loan. Dave says it take the average person around 7 years to pay off their home.
Now we will probably have to move again before this one is complete, but his recommendation if we must take out a mortgage is only to take out a 15 year mortgage and spend no more than 25% of your take home pay on your mortgage. Hope our real estate agent can help us get a steal on a house next time ;)
Now for the one one that I really really want to get to:
Step 7 - Build wealth and give!
Money is not evil. Money should be fun. Dave says the best part about having lots of money is giving it away to people who need it. The idea of being financially secure at a young age and being able to help others - help the poor, help the homeless, and to help the ORPHANS - that is where our heart is really at. Trips, jewelry, nice things - yeah that all sounds wonderful but we truly do want to help others. We would love to start a non-profit and help families adopt, or help open orphan homes around the world. It all takes time, which when you have bills to pay, you gotta work all the time - and it takes money.
I have already seen amazing blessings poured out on us from God as we started this program in January. God does not desire for us to be indebted to anyone so now that we see some of the stupid choices we've made - we want to change course and He is helping us out of this hole we dug. It is not easy, and it is taking daily sacrifices and saying no to buying things that we would love to have.
We feel like as much as we look stupid to others around us and people made fun of us as we ate beans and rice all the time - but $15,000 were paid off the first half of this year - who's getting the last laugh? If normal is going farther in to debt and filing bankruptcy and spending more than you make, and buying cars that lose value faster than you pay for them - then I am okay with being weird!!!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Fruit Loop
Yesterday we took our trip up the gorge on what has become a yearly tradition for us to take advantage of the fall weather and fresh apples and pears on the Hood River Fruit Loop! The weather was chilly but nice which made the day great!
I love the fall colors and I like decorating for fall and knowing that the holidays are coming soon. I enjoy the cold, crisp air, and wearing sweatpants and pulling out warm snugly blankets! I love the return of college football season and settling back in to fall schedules. It seems like things slow down just a little bit in the fall and we are able to spend more time together, at home enjoying the warmth and comfort of warm foods and earlier bedtimes :)
Peter and I have been enjoying photography lately and the fruit loop was a great opportunity for us to take some pictures of what has become my favorite time of the year:
I love the fall colors and I like decorating for fall and knowing that the holidays are coming soon. I enjoy the cold, crisp air, and wearing sweatpants and pulling out warm snugly blankets! I love the return of college football season and settling back in to fall schedules. It seems like things slow down just a little bit in the fall and we are able to spend more time together, at home enjoying the warmth and comfort of warm foods and earlier bedtimes :)
Peter and I have been enjoying photography lately and the fruit loop was a great opportunity for us to take some pictures of what has become my favorite time of the year:
I personally believe that this is the best time of year to call the northwest your home. I do love spring and summer in Oregon, but I believe fall is the best. Don't even get me started on Oregon winter's though, I could skip January thru March
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
