100 Days, Counting Blessings

We are now well over 3 plus months into this pandemic and hit 100 days now since we were ordered to stay at home. We aren't necessarily afraid to go out in public, but there is really no purpose for us to be out much. With homeschool and Peter working from home, grocery pick up, online church, and all sports and activities being cancelled we've kind of just been forced to be at home a lot more. There isn't really anywhere to be and we've enjoyed this extra time spent at home.

Sure there are lots of hard parts, several cancelled vacations, numerous birthday parties skipped over, sad to not get to watch both my boys play baseball or watch Sabrina dance ballet at her recital.  Our small business being all but shut down and wondering how it will survive, watching numerous friends and family take on the stress of job loss. Now surging numbers in our state, new state wide mask laws to try and slow it all down. I certainly don't take the impact of all this lightly. It is a stressful and hard time for so many.

But us personally, I have seen huge blessing flow from this time. Not the pandemic itself but some of what it has done for our family.  First and foremost, Peter is home with us.  This was an unexpected immense blessing for our family.  While our small business is struggling bad, Peter's primary job is not only surviving but thriving during this time which is a just a huge weight lifted when we consider what things could look like for our one income family.  Back in September of last year things really cranked up for Peter at work.  That was also about the time I hit the 3rd trimester.  November came along and as I was needing him most, there was no balance between work and home life.  Then baby came and his promised paternity leave, while he squeezed in time where he could, never fully came to be what we looked like or expected.  Work needed him, and I needed him and the battle between the two definitely created conflict and tension.  A new baby always adds stress in the beginning and work was piling on massive amounts of stress in Peter's life that were also causing tension. While we were surviving, we certainly weren't thriving.  Peter was working insane hours well into the night and I don't know how he did that with a newborn. It added a whole lot more work for me than I was expecting coming out of having this baby. I thought thing would be "different" and that he would be around more this time to help me tackle 5 kids. 

So basically things were just hard in the season right before the pandemic hit.  When he first started working from home in March, we thought, like most people probably did that the longest timeline he would be home would be until the end of April.  Then May came around and he cancelled his parking permit because we were thinking he may be home until July or so.  Then June came and he finally returned to his office and got all the things he left behind - his phone charger, extra monitor etc.  because the timeline became more open. And now in this most recent phase we have been told he won't step back foot into his office before 2021!  I've always wished he had the flexibility to work from home. I think he was a bit more skeptical that he could accomplish work goals while also being at home but through this "experiment" he's learned he can accomplish pretty big work goals and balance home life.  It has been so rewarding for the kids to have their Dad home and get to see him here and there throughout the day.  I feel like our lives are more connected then ever as I have some idea of what his work life entails and he actually has some idea of what is happening at home throughout the day.  He has a stronger relationship with Ayla than he had with the other kids at this age because he see's her throughout his day instead for just a short time before her bedtime when he's trying to balance helping me and seeing his other 4 kids. 

This time has been transformative for our family.  We aren't hustling to get here and there and everywhere.  We are enjoying a much simpler life where the kids just play outside without the rush of getting dinner on the table so they can get going to their next activity.  Of course life with 5 kids is still busy and stressful from time to time but Peter is able to be so much more hands on and the time wasted by commuting 90 minutes every evening is just massive for our family. When he unplugs for the day, he is instantly home with us!  There's less tension on our marriage and just in general there feels like more happiness in our home.  I love the quote I've seen going around that in the hustle to get back to life, let us take time to reflect on what is worth hustling back to.  Even when this is all said and done, there is much of life that we don't want back!  We will definitely slow down on the amount of activities the kids are doing so they have plenty of time to just play.  We have high hopes that Peter will be home at least most of the time from here on out which would just be incredible!

All that to say, there is blessing in this time.  It is a hard period of time and we still don't know how all this will shake out in the end, but for now I choose to focus on the blessings for our little family and how much this 100 days "stuck" at home has actually become a good thing for us! I of course hope that businesses reopen and in general the illness goes away but I also hope some parts stay just the way they are right now! 100 days into this, I assume many more to come before we see the end of this road but we are here, soaking up life as a family and counting how blessed we actually are!