Saturday, March 19, 2016

30 Thoughts at 30

Some experts say wisdom comes with age.  And well, I think there's something in there about gray hairs being a crown of wisdom or something crazy like that.  I'm not sure I have much wisdom yet but the gray hairs are definitely increasing in number!  I've definitely learned some lessons the easy way in life, and maybe dragged myself through a few of them the..... hard way. But maybe there's a tiny bit of wisdom I've earned the right to pass on in my first 30 years on this earth. So I bring to you, 30 thoughts on my 30th Birthday!

1) If you have the privilege of being born the only girl, after 3 boys, you might find yourself wearing more than your fair share of  BIG.FRILLY.DRESSES.
2) Permanent life loss can happen at a young age, younger than you might think and it might affect you, even on a subconscious level for your entire life.
3) Do things you love, even if you're not necessarily very good at them.  Sometimes the sports you are just okay at will remain memories you remember forever.
4) Don't try and grow up too fast. There's plenty of time for that. Enjoy childhood while you can.
5) As a teenager, find an adult mentor!  I had a couple who helped me immensely with their genuine care and advice through the tough years.
6) Don't waste your time with bad influences, this goes for friends but especially friends of the opposite sex.  When dating, look for a smart, hard worker who loves God.  They're the diamond in the rough!
7) It's okay if what you want in life doesn't include a college degree. It's okay to say you "just want to be a mom." That is its own special calling and important work too.
8) Make smart financial decisions at a young age. Debt is dumb. Save for the future. Don't over extend. Work hard so you can play hard!
9) Finding true love at a young age and getting more years to love each other is a wonderful gift!
10) Marriage doesn't have to be difficult. Communicate often, build trust, fight fair, and protect your marriage vows at all times.
11) It is STILL possible to "wait until marriage." It isn't easy but well worth it! Most of the best things in life are worth waiting for!
12) Even if you want a baby from the first day of marriage, waiting can be worth it. Make memories as a couple, travel, sleep in and cuddle on weekends. It will be many years before you can take a worry free night away after the kids are born so take advantage before!
13) Getting married young takes work.  You will both have to work very very hard. But building your lives entirely together is a wonderful thing to accomplish as a team!
14) Struggling to get pregnant is very, very hard!
15) Don't doubt your callings as a youth, a calling that you feel in your heart as a teenager can come true 10 years later!
16) If adoption is on your heart do it!  Don't let money or fear stand in your way! There's always room for one more!
17) After waiting years and filling out far too much paperwork, there is no better feeling in all the world than seeing your agency's phone number calling you and knowing that you just became a mom!
18) An unexpected pregnancy will be okay!
19) A second unexpected pregnancy will also be okay!
20) The NICU is a terribly difficult place for a hormonal new mother to spend her day.
21)  Bedrest is only fun for like one day!
22) Seriously, there's always room for "one more!"
23) Prioritize time to relax, play and travel. See how other cultures live. Leave the kids (and cry like a baby every time) and go away and relax with just your husband for the weekend! Take the kids to Disneyland even if they won't remember it because you will!
24) Witnessing the moment a birth mother says goodbye is one of the hardest but profound moments of your child's life to be there for. It will help remind you that all adoption is built through loss.
25) Homeschooling is a lot of work!  Homeschooling multiple grades is a bit insane. But seeing that moment where something challenging clicks, or they  read their very first words makes every other hard moment worth it!
26) Parenting toddlers is hard, hard, hard, especially when they outnumber the adults!
27) A weekly date night is a wonderful investment to marriage.
28) I've breastfed, I've exclusively pumped, I've formula fed. I've coslept, I've crib slept em, I've attachment parented, I've cried it out, I've baby worn, I've bought and made my own baby food. Difference situations and phases of life require a different approach. We all are trying our best!
29) You're never too old for Disneyland!
30) I used to think life needed a big elaborate plan.  And while I still like I loose plan for life, I gave up on having it all figured out long ago because I know God has a sense of humor about "our plans".  It's easier to just let him lead than try it my own way!