Sunday, August 16, 2015

On Parenthood

Well friends, we are edging towards the end of another weekend. And can I just be honest here for a minute?  I'm tired.  Peter is tired.  This life of being parents, well it is A LOT of work in case you didn't know.  The craziest part of all this is that we lay in bed at night and reminisce on the craziness of our life and just think "we did this to ourselves! We made this little army of minions- by choice!"

Now before you get the wrong impression, I love my life.  All I've ever wanted to be was a mommy.  But for some reason, this summer has been exceptionally exhausting in the realm of parenthood.  I remember a few years back, and the moment I found out I was pregnant again.  I looked at Malachi who was barely 1 years old in his high chair and I looked over across the room at Eli, barely 6 months old in his high chair and just wondered how in the world I was going to do it.  I knew that little baby I was carrying was a blessing, but I also knew some very challenging days were ahead. And I was right!  That first year with 3 babies was very hard. Every day was a struggle to just make it to bedtime.  Looking back now, I truly don't understand how we made it!  But we did!

Peter and I were fortunate enough to get to go away for one night on our anniversary.  Can I just say, it was so stinkin much fun.  The wonderful thing about being overwhelmed with a house full of kids, is we didn't waste a second of our freedom together! It was just so nice to escape parenthood and act like we were "just a couple" again for a short time!  There were moments of those 24 hours that I can't wait to have that light at the end of the tunnel of parenting!  Empty nest is gonna be a great time!  But these days are great times too. And I know I am going to miss these days.  I'm not the first woman to have 4 very young children at home.  Someday I will reflect on the chaos of these days and miss how little all these babies once were.

I find it kind of comical that I have a running list of "Things to do in my free time".  That list just seems to keep growing and nothing is getting checked off of it. I don't even know why I try.  Just getting the basics done of cooking, cleaning, refereeing, homeschooling, classes, workouts is barely doable in the hours I have each day before we crash at the end of the night.

At the moment we have a very energetic 5 year old, a stubborn 4 year old (who asks hundreds of questions, a 3 year old who is constantly testing boundaries, and a very high needs and opinionated 12 month old.  Yeah, writing that all out explains a lot.  I literally feel like all I do each day is meet needs, correct misbehavior and referee fights.  And maybe that is what this life of motherhood is all about in this phase.  Behind all those challenges I see with these kids, I see good gifts in each of them too.  That energetic 5 year old lives life to the fullest each and every day. Full of courage, and always willing to tell the truth, even if he knows he did something wrong.  A 4 year old who is very curious about everything in this world, who is learning and will not allow others to walk all over him.  A 3 year old who is very tenderhearted, but tough and mighty and a force to be reckoned with.  A baby girl who is a fighter and who works hard at things that come easy for others. She knows what she wants and she's going to get what she wants.

Life is hard, but life is beautiful.  It is a wonderful and hard privilege to get to parent these kids.  I never expected it to be easy. Our lives were blessed hard and fast with this family.  I know we are in just a bit of a tough phase right now, and as we just live life, day by day, that eventually things will feel easier again and I will look back at this post someday and think "how did we do it?".  Parenthood is tough, but it is a wonderful gift!  We are creating and raising the next generation of this world.  Well, of course that will not be an easy task to take on.  Fortunately I already see the hearts of these little ones and they are beautiful people!  So here's to pressing on for another day, another week, another month! We got this!


Brittny Loveless said...

I absolutely loved this post and your honest heart. You are so very blessed and you are right- you've got this! If God is for us, who can be against us!? Hoping the fall brings happy memories with the kids and a few quiet moments with Peter too. :)