Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Peter's First Father's Day

Sunday was Peter's First Father's Day. It is kind of hard to celebrate your first Father's Day thousands and thousands of miles away from your son.

So what can I say about Peter on his first Father's Day? Well, I know he is going to be a terrific father! I can already see that he loves his son with all of his heart! Some of my favorite moments are when we lay in bed right before turning off the light and stare at our son's face in the pictures next to the bed. I can see the pride in his eyes for our little boy!

There is no doubt he loves that little boy! Just yesterday he shared with me in the heartache of not passing court. He hurt and loves just as strongly as I do! I love hearing him pray for our son! He is truly thankful for this gift we've been given and he can't wait to get our son home!

Something I have always appreciated about Peter, even if I didn't like it at the time: Right after we got married, I was ready to start our family. Peter was not. Peter let me know that from the start. I pouted and complained a lot (years!) and he dealt with it. He always told me that he just wasn't ready yet and wanted to get us more established. He said how when he became a father, he wanted to be "all in". He has never taken the decision to be a father lightly. He has always wanted to be a great father and he is!

From the first moment we decided to adopt he has been "all in!". He's endured fundraiser after fundraiser. He's endured numerous background checks and a medical physical. He's tolerated a woman asking him very personal questions (he did amazing and did most of the talking during our homestudy!) He has tolerated my craziness throughout this whole process and even endured 5 or 6 shots for the cause and a nasty bug post vaccines! He is most definitely "all in" and I love seeing how excited he is to become a DAD!!!


So how is life on the home front as a stay at home wife? Blissful!!!

I seriously had no idea how relaxing life could be. I feel normal now! I honestly didn't realize just how much my job was stressing me out. On the surface it didn't seem too stressful, but always being pushed beyond what one is capable of doing in a normal work week and dealing with difficult people is very stressful! I feel so much better as a person now.

I really am a better wife. If momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy is SO TRUE! Now that I am relaxed and happy, Peter is more relaxed and happy which creates a much better marriage! Truly money will not make you happy. We have had to make some serious financial sacrifices to make this work, but I can already tell you that it is worth it!

I finally feel like I have time to take care of my home. Home as in my house, my pets, my husband, and soon my son! Working the long days that I was working it was too hard to do and be everything. I was always doing the minimum trying to keep everyone happy.

I feel so domesticated now :) The house is finally clean, I have time to cook good meals, I have time to take care of myself spiritually and work out! I have daily schedules of housework that keep the house clean, I actually fold the laundry now and make the bed :) I never realized just how much my husband appreciates coming home to a clean house! The fact that he doesn't have to help out as much around here has greatly improved his mood and his stress level too!!!

Staying home has been an awesome change for us so far! The overall health of our family cannot be bought with two incomes! So yes, being a stay at home wife has been everything I thought it would be and much much more. I had no idea the positive effect it would have on our marriage and I know that the time spent with Malachi will be invaluable!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Going back in time 6 years......

I will forever remember June 6th 2004.
We were all of one day past our high school graduation. But it really was the beginning of the rest of my life!

6 years ago, while celebrating grad night a boy named Peter seemed to always be around me. Now, in a class of 12 students that isn't all that surprising.

Peter and I had been spending a lot of time together the weeks leading up to graduation. I kind of figured that would be the end of it. I would graduate and over time lose touch with all of my high school friends. I didn't want that to be the end of it, but I didn't expect it to turn into anything beyond flirting.

We spent our grad-night at a beach house and while most of the grads went to bed (lame) 5 of us stayed up all night hanging out and talking. Peter was one of those people. As morning arrived, we all decided to take one last walk on the beach before coming home. Apparently Peter was trying to get some private time to talk to me during this walk, but our classmates were always around bugging us so he gave up. We then headed home....... and that could have been the end of our story.

Well, a strange thing happened on the way home. Call it a faulty cruddy bus or call it divine intervention - but either way I am eternally grateful to that cruddy old bus. The bus died on the side of the road 14 miles from the Coast.

This gave my wonderful husband enough time to work up the guts to ask me an all important question.

We sat in the back of the bus for a long time talking. Peter was kind of quizzing me to try and see how I felt about him and I was not letting on because I had no idea how he felt about me. I was so afraid that he would tell me he just wanted to be friends so I was protecting my heart.

Oh the silly games we play.............

I remember him asking me a question about how a guy would know if I was interested in him and I responded with a "yeah, I don't really think about dating a guy until I know that he is interested." (yeah right!)

And Peter responded with the words that I still carry around with me today. If you look closely at the inside of my wedding band you will see the words "I AM INTERESTED"

Yep, that's what he said and the rest is history!

Right about that time our rescuers showed up and took us home in cars. We weren't able to finish our conversation and I remember trying to write notes to each other in the car to finish that conversation so no one else would know. Somehow we left the car as "a couple".

It is already hard to think back to those early days of dating. There is a lot that I can't remember but there are a few memories I still hold close.

The first time Peter told me he loved me, our first kiss, telling Peter I loved him. That last day before Peter left for college that we spent at the beach - amazing day that I will forever remember! I remember sitting in the sand for hours talking and watching the sunset, not wanting the day to end because we both knew it would be months before we'd see each other again. Crying at dinner and finally realizing just how much I loved that boy! Dating over the phone for months. Great months of talking and getting to know each other over the phone. Staying up way to late at night talking on the phone - so late that we would fall asleep on the phone. Finally getting to see each other again and realizing I wasn't just dating a voice.

Those were the early days of our relationship. It was such a special time of excitement and laying the groundwork for an amazing partnership! Yep, June 6th, 2004 was the start of something great!!!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Starting Life

It feels like life is about to start. Not to say that I haven't enjoyed myself up to this point, but most of it has felt like prep-work. Peter and I are quickly approaching our 4th year of marriage and we have truly enjoyed the last 4 years of marriage together and the 6 years we've been together. It is just so nice to finally see the hopes and plans we had for our life together finally happening!

Let me explain:

6 years ago, when we started dating, Peter was just preparing for his first year of college. Over the course of those first 2 months of dating, we knew our love was forever type of love and we knew it was going to last! I was still very unsure of what I wanted to spend my life doing. The only thing we knew when Peter left for school in September is that we wanted to get married in 2 years and that I needed to get a job. So I did.

I have spent the last 5 1/2 years working hard to get our life started. Peter also was working 30 hours a week, while balancing a very full class schedule (up to 30 credits a semester). We started our life off at a very good place for being 20 years old. After our wedding, we kept at it! We were only halfway there. Peter still had 2 years of school left. We enjoyed married life to its fullest, while still balancing work schedules and Peter's class schedule.

Finally, Peter graduated! It was a great day. I finally felt the financial responsibility for our family get lifted off my shoulders. Peter was more than happy to take that role over! We were able to step out of survival mode and start preparing for our future together which included children and a bigger house.

The last 2 years have been spent preparing for that. We've bought the house and we almost have our first child home! Life is good. The final piece of that puzzle we dreamed and talked and planned for almost 6 years ago is about to happen. I am about to quit my job and be able to stay at home with my children! I am thrilled and feel so incredibly blessed that we are in a place where I am able to enjoy my time at home with my children!

I have one more week of work before my personal dream job will start! Okay, so Malachi isn't home yet, but he will be soon. I have worked hard. It hasn't been easy. I currently have a very bad back ache and sore wrists as a reminder of just how difficult the last 5 1/2 years have been on my body. In case you were unaware - upholstery work is not easy!!!

But here I am - steps away from the finish line. I have completed this task. I have sacrificed. I am about to get the ultimate reward! I am thankful to my husband for allowing me to stay at home!

With that being said. Here are the top 10 things I am looking forward to:

1) Not getting up at 4:30 in the morning for more then a feeding and diaper change. (Malachi, I pray you are nice to your mommy and don't wake up and want to play at this awful hour of the night!)

2) A direct result of not having to get up at 4:30 - being able to stay up later at night!

3) Being able to do things during the week! I don't have to fight with the weekend crowd at the grocery store. I can join Bible studies and support groups that happen during the week. Places are much less crowded during the week!

4) Not being involved with "work drama" or work stress caused by under staffing. I already feel the stress disappearing.

5) Being a better wife. I am confident that I will be a better wife as a result of this life change!

6) Hopefully being able to do a better job of keeping up on housework and cooking better meals at night. I know a baby could mess this one up, but I hope to do better at all of this!

7) Not having my life dictated to me between the hours of 5:30-4:00 everyday. No more scheduling appointments for after 4:15 and no more having to rely on 3 free weeks a year of vacation time.

8) Hopefully relief in the aches and pains. I don't know what carrying a little guy around all day will do to my back, but I hope overall the symptoms improve.

9) More than 12 weeks of bonding time with my son when he gets home! Infinite days of bonding. I get to hold that little boy until he doesn't want me to anymore! It is NOT dictated by my employer but instead by my new boss who is all of 7 weeks old ;)

10) Not missing a single smile, a single feeding, a single diaper change. Being there for every first. First roll overs, first crawls, first steps, first words. Being available for every hug, kiss, boo boo. Getting to comfort him every time he cries. Being there for everything will be priceless!!!