Sunday, May 30, 2010

Last Few Weeks

We are enjoying this nice, long weekend together. We really are just trying to enjoy the time we have left of just the two of us and the majority of time the two of us have together is on the weekends. We are hopeful that our little guy will be home in the next 6-8 weeks. Hopefully this time will go fast!!!

Our court date has been scheduled for June 15th. We are so excited that in 16 short days Malachi will hopefully legally be our son! We are spending a lot of time in prayer that all the documents will be in order for a first time pass (50-50 chance of passing the first try). In the midst of all that we spend a lot of time looking at his cute little face! He is adorable and I can't wait to get him in my arms and kiss those cute cheeks :) I am hoping to get some updated pictures of him soon. He is 6 weeks old now and the last pictures I got of him he was under 3 weeks old so I know he has changed a lot in that time.

I turned in my official notice at work! Man, that felt good :) My department has lost 9 or 10 employees since January and they have not hired anyone. They are trying to be careful with the current state of the economy, but there are just not enough people and they are working everyone like crazy. I am so glad to be almost done! June 10th will be my last day. It is weird to be going through so many life changes right now.

It reminds me so much of when we were preparing to get married. We knew what things were going to look like. We had a good idea of where we would be financially. We had read books and taken pre-marital counseling and had a decent idea of what marriage would look like. But it was still a leap of faith. We didn't really know how things were going to be until after we jumped in. It was a nervous and very exciting time and the months leading up to our marriage we just wanted to get the wedding day over with so we could start our lives together.

We've done our research on adoption and parenting. We have a decent idea of what our financial situation will look like as a one income family. We've read the books and taken the classes for everything from parenting technics, to bonding with an adopted child, to transracial families. But it is still a leap of faith. We are very comfortable as a family of 2 and while we can't wait to become 3, it is a little nerve wracking knowing a baby will change our marriage and our entire family dynamic. But most of all we are just excited. Very, very excited!!! We wish we could skip the next few weeks and get right to the good part of getting Malachi in our arms and start our lives together!!!

Saturday, May 15, 2010


I don't know if it is spring cleaning or nesting, but either way we're hitting the deep cleaning pretty hard this weekend. Now that the depressing time of waiting is behind us and the excitement of referral stuff is done it feels like we have so much to get done before we take off for Africa. We are cleaning and moving things around while we're at it to make sure everything is safe for a little one. Peter spent the morning cleaning out our hot tub and we've posted it on craigslist for free to just try and get it out of here. We told our social worker back in October that we were getting rid of it and now we really need to get it out of here before she comes back into our home after Malachi gets home. So hopefully it goes soon! I've been cleaning the inside. My cleaning motivation had disappeared there for awhile (adoption waiting depression?) but now it is back and I have a lot of work to do! We also have a few little projects left to get done in Malachi's room and then we will post pictures of his completed room!

We are already well over our limit of 4 suitcases for Ethiopia. We have to pack all of Malachi's stuff in our carry on's (fun fun fun) as there is no guarantee our luggage will make it. We already have almost 4 tubs of donations to take to the orphanage and our agency called us and asked us if we could take 2 more that they have over when we go. So we will be over the limit. We will try and get the airport to waive the additional fees since we are taking over humanitarian aid or otherwise we might have to pay a few $100 more dollars to get the stuff over there. Oh well. We have started buying all the stuff we need to take over there. There is a lot of stuff to pack for a little one! Also, since he will probably be right around 3 months when we get to go get him, we will need to pack 0-3 month size clothes AND 3-6 month size clothes.

I am finishing up my last few weeks of work. I haven't turned in my notice yet, but I am planning on my last day of work being the day before we go to court. We are hoping to get a court date this coming week and hoping it will be soon! It is really hard to get up the motivation to go to work right now, but it is nice knowing that I only have a few more weeks. I do admit that it is a little scary to think of being a one income family, but we know we will make it.

Peter just celebrated his 1 year at his employer this past week! That means he has a raise coming any day now :) It is also bonus month for him so we are eagerly anticipating that! We have been putting away some money each month as reserves for when I quit working. His bonus will make it to where I will at least have a year of a safety net after I quit -which is awesome!!!

Exciting things are coming!!!

Tomorrow is Malachi's 1 month birthday - Happy 1 month Malachi, we miss you!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Malachi is here!!!

3 days ago we first laid eyes on our beautiful baby boy! Words cannot describe how the past 3 days have felt!

1 Samuel 1:27 "For this boy I prayed, and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of Him"

This has been a desire in our hearts for a very long time. 10 years ago, at the age of 14 God directed my heart towards adoption for some point in my adult life. I honestly figured I would be in my 30's before this desire became truth, but I am thrilled that it happened sooner. We have had so many questions over the past few years - we wanted a family. It is just incredible to look back on the past year, now knowing what we know.

We felt led to adoption on July 12th of 2009 - Around this time Malachi was just coming into existence and God knew he needed a family.

We were officially accepted into the Ethiopia program on July 22nd - Right around the time that Malachi was conceived.

On August 2nd we turned in our contracts to AGCI and we able to truly start the adoption process - right around the time that Malachi's birth mom may have noticed that she could be pregnant

On August 11th I wrote: My heart breaks for a mother who is going to make the ultimate sacrifice. - How was Malachi's mother feeling on this day early in her pregnancy?

On August 21st this verse came to mind Romans 12:12-13 "Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful. When God's children are in need, be the one to help them out

On August 30th we turned in our homestudy documents. Malachi's birthmom would have been about 7 or 8 weeks pregnant. Was she sick? Was she scared?

On September 21st my fingerprints were rejected by the state of Oregon. I didn't understand why and I was so frustrated for this hold up. I knew it would put a major delay in the process. God must have known we were moving to fast. We needed to slow down - Malachi's birthmom was only around 11 weeks pregnant and she needed more time.

On September 29th God directed me to this verse Jeremiah 1:5-7 "The word of the Lord came to me, saying "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
"Ah, Sovereign Lord," I said, "I do not know how to speak, I am only a child."
But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the Lord.

At this time I started praying intently for Malachi and the plans that I felt God had for Malachi's future. Malachi would have been right around 12 weeks along in utero.

On October 18th we picked a name - Malachi. After all these years of God pressing me that I would adopt a son and He would do amazing things for God and then directing me to that verse on Sepember 29th - Malachi was the perfect name - it means Messenger. Malachi would have been 14-15 weeks along in Utero. Was his birthmom starting to show? What were her thoughts at this time? Was she afraid and wondering what she was going to do?

On October 30th we got our first wait list numbers. 20 baby boys in front of us before getting to meet Malachi. We were hopeful that we would not have to wait long to see his face but we still had a ways to go. Malachi's birthmom was only 17-18 weeks pregnant at this time. Was she starting to feel those first signs of a baby moving inside her? I was certainly carrying Malachi in my heart!

On November 16th I wrote about being woken up in the middle of the night needing to pray for Malachi's birthmom. I am so curious about what was happening in her life, but all I know is my heart was breaking for her. She would have been around 20 weeks pregnant.

Christmas time was especially hard for me. I longed for my little one and my heart was broken. Malachi was about 25 weeks along, but I wanted him SOON! He still needed 15 weeks of growth to come into the world healthy (which thankfully he is!) I never thought I was going to have to wait 5 more months to meet him.

Around January 28th I was having an especially hard time with the waiting. I was miserable! I was so upset to still be waiting but on my way to work God gave me a word "Even though this journey is hard, and the road is long. I've gone before you and I am with you. You must go through this valley. Nothing compares to what is in front of you! Press on child, I am with you!!!" It was so hard to wait but God knew that we still had to wait awhile longer. Malachi's birthmom would have been almost 30 weeks pregnant. She would have been getting big and I am sure Malachi was kicking all the time. Nothing does compare to the gift God has given us.

On February 21st during another difficult stormy time God told me that He had us covered. That we will get the victory! That we will get on a plane and bring home a son! During worship we sang the words "It's the song of the redeemed, rising from the African plain". Malachi was probably about 34 weeks pregnant. Her body was getting closer and closer to preparing for labor. I am sure she was getting uncomfortable. Was she hiding her pregnancy? I bet she was scared and sad.

On March 2nd I wrote: I am trying my hardest to not be frustrated in this waiting. I know there is a greater plan and purpose that is being fulfilled in your life halfway around this world, but that doesn't make this time any easier. I just hope we don't have to wait too many more months before seeing your face. Wherever you might be right now, I pray that you are safe and healthy. I pray that God gives your birth family peace because someone halfway around this world loves you so much and is longing for you at this very moment."

I pray God gave Malachi's birthmom some comfort during this time as she was only 6 weeks away from Malachi's birth.

On March 29th - 2 1/2 weeks before Malachi entered the world I wrote

"I keep thinking about the call. I wonder what I will actually do when I see K's number on the phone. Will I be able to even think straight? How will I react when she tells us she has someone she would like to talk to us about? Will I become overcome with emotion right there in front of my co-workers? Will I be able to hold off on crying at least until I call Peter? I can't wait to hear our baby's name! I can't wait to hear what day he was born!

I know I will leave work as quickly as possible and call Peter as soon as I get out of my building! Will I even be able to utter the words to Peter (I'm sure he will be able to figure out what I'm trying to say though). Will I be able to safely drive home and maintain a legal speed limit? How will I feel after getting home and listening as Peter listens from work about our little boy. What will we be thinking? How will we process all the information as we learn about our son's health, personality, and history?

Then the moment I've been waiting for! The moment I will be able to open an email and see my baby's face! Will he have an adorable toothless grin? Will he be serious? Will he be scared? Will he have a head of thick curls? Will he look like a little old man with a little bald head? Will he have chubby little cheeks or will he be oh so tiny? I can't wait to look into his big brown eyes!!!

I find this one funny on April 12th only 4 days before Malachi was born I wrote:

Yes - I am DUE!!! It is time for me to see my little boy's face. I have dreamed of that day for so long now and I have to admit that it is hard to actually imagine that the call is coming really soon! I am trying not to think about it too much, but I admit that it is hard not to constantly be thinking about my phone ringing.

We are ready. Everything is ready and I am so hopeful and prayerful that we can and will get through before the 2 trip policy goes into place. Baby Dash is about to have a name, a face, and a birthday. How much longer will my patience hold out? The closer we get, the harder it is to wait. Oh how I pray that we don't have to wait much longer!

On April 14th - 2 days before Malachi was born - I was very restless. VERY restless. I wrote:

I know we will make it through. I will keep waiting as long as I have to. I know God will be faithful and all the pain will make seeing his sweet face and hearing those desired words "I have a little boy I want to talk to you about" so much richer! But I will continue to pray for our baby boy and wake up tomorrow with continued hope that maybe, just maybe the phone will ring!

On April 22nd we became #1. The next baby boy at Hannah's Hope would be our son. Little did we know that Malachi was only 6 days old at this time!

On April 23rd - the day Malachi arrived at HH I wrote:

No call today. We've been holding our breath all day - hoping and praying but God has different plans. Hopefully this will be the last weekend we're left hanging. I know there is a lot of envy over that top spot, I've had that same envy numerous times on this journey - but being #1 is not so much fun :)
The only thing carrying me through is the knowledge that our call IS coming very soon!!!

On April 29th I rested upon peace. I had a long conversation with my caseworker about everything. This was the day that Malachi became paper ready to meet us.

May 2nd I was in horrible shape. I was so distraught with the waiting. I had no idea that I was hours away from seeing my son!

This has been quite the journey! God's perfection has left me in awe!

With that being said - Peter and I did a little shopping last night :) I have been dying to know what size of things to buy for my boy. I did not expect to get to buy 3-6 month size stuff though but I was in heaven. Finally being a mother means the world to me! I am just so soooo happy!!!

And a tiny little sneak peak of our precious son! Malachi - we love you sooooo much!!!