14 Years

 At the end of July we celebrated our 14th Anniversary.  On one hand, I would find it very easy at this point to pass over this occasion and just move along. But since my intent is to publish these posts for my kids to reflect on someday I thought it was important to recap this past year as we have done with every anniversary.  We have been married long enough at this point to know that some years of marriage are amazing, mountain top, beautiful years.  And then there are other years that are hard and down in the dumps. Sometimes the years are hard because of circumstances outside our control and sometimes the years are self inflicted times of hardship.  If I am being 100% honest about the chapter of marriage we just wrote - I would describe it much like I would describe 2020 as a whole - blah!  

Don't get me wrong, there were some really beautiful times too.  Our trip to Bend for a babymoon comes straight to my mind.  There's also something amazing and intimate about those moments leading up to and immediately after bringing a new child into the world that we were fortunate to share together. I mean, we brought life into the world this past year! It has also been amazing for our family to have Peter working from home these past 5 months. There is always good to be seen if you look for it.

So why would I consider this year sort of blah?  We have prided ourselves on how we have also focused and prioritized our relationship. For the majority of our marriage we have worked hard to carve out time for one another and invest in our relationship knowing that was the key to keeping our marriage and family strong.  This last year has been full of adjustment. The expectations put on Peter at his job meant many long hours and even long nights put into work. I had a very rough third trimester and then of course the adjustment to a new baby is no joke (I mean, we have 5 kids now!). Combined with Peter's work schedule this often met unmet expectations for where I felt his focus needed to be at home vs the insane pressure Peter was feeling trying to meet work and family demands.

I don't want to overly dramatize the year because it wasn't like we struggled too bad, but I do want to paint a picture of reality because this is sometimes how life looks.  I think we've had a slow fade and drift from one another as needs weren't being met and our priorities were focused off of our marriage and into what we both saw as outside pressures.  Our marriage was never in doubt, but it just felt kind of "blah".  

The good part of anniversary's though is that they kind of act as a reset button for us.  We can reflect on the good and the bad and we can talk through things and try to make adjustments.  One thing for sure, is that we love each other with all of our hearts and still want to strive to make things the best they can be. We want to be the best spouse we can be for each other.  Our anniversary served as a reminder of what we have built together and how we want to improve. I am happy to report that already this last month since our 14th Anniversary has been amazing.  We are communicating better and prioritizing one another again.  I am thankful that this year our anniversary served as that reset button!

I am so thankful for the past 14 years with Peter. They have been everything I wanted in life and even more. I am so proud of the man he is and how he works hard to provide for our family and also strives to be the best husband and father he can be.  I am thankful for every day I have with this man and I am looking forward to this year ahead with joy and gratefulness for everything we have, particularly these 5 precious kids we've been gifted with.  We are already planning all that is to come as we approach 15 years together!  When we work as a team, we are unstoppable!