Monday, March 10, 2014

Still Processing

We've been home from Ethiopia for about 6 weeks now... and in all honesty we are still struggling. I think that is why I have had such a hard time even blogging since our return.  On the good side of things - We have both come home with a stronger fervor to maintain and grow our relationship with God then we have had in years.  We've developed a more intimate relationship with God together as a couple than we've ever been comfortable before. We've been more honest with our feelings and have allowed ourselves to be raw.  All this deep thinking, heart to heart talking has helped us become closer to each other than we've ever been before.  We're genuinely happy.  This trip was the catalyst to some much needed changes and actions on our part!  I never would have thought it would impact us this much.

And don't even get me started on the stirrings of our hearts.  The emotions still remain too raw.  The desires in our hearts still burning.  But how to turn this processing into action remains a bit tougher.

And even though there have been some very good things happen since our return, we have had a fair share of challenges too. The days have been hard.  I could count on maybe one hand the amount of days I have been "healthy".  I've had 3 colds, fevers, pain with running, severe back and neck pain.  I can't believe the amount of crazy.  We've had a lot of hard behavioral problems with the kids. The adoption has been stressful.  We've had a golden carrot dangled in front of us only to have it snatched away.  We've faced some very very hard, stressful and difficult days.

But we're hanging in there. We're not faltering. We're trusting God even when it is hard and trying to decipher what His will and plan for us is while hoping that things lighten up here in the days ahead.  Needless to say, our trip was life changing.  This trip and the things on our heart aren't fading as the weeks pile on.  I don't know what is going to happen now. I really wish I did.  So we remain in processing mode.  And that's why I've been a bit quiet.