He gives and takes away

Well, sometimes my life Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

CHORUS: So hold me Jesus,
'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

CHORUS So hold me Jesus,
'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so small
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace


This is a post that I have been dreading to make but I know it is necessary. It amazes me how easy it is to talk about the hard stuff on a personal blog but not on the blog that our close friends and family read. I am going to be EXTREMELY vulnerable here so if you don't want to read about really personal struggles then I recommend to stop reading now. I don't want to have a poor me attitude through all of this but I prefer to ask for prayer and also explain a few of the ways God has brought us to where we are now.

Lets start with the bomb - Peter was laid off last week. It is still not a fun or easy thing to talk about. Sometimes we are still shocked by the whole thing because accounting is supposed to be "safe" through this economy. It was a really tough break and we are honestly wondering where God is leading us now. Let me give you some of the back story bringing us to where we are now:

For years we have talked about how blessed we are and how easy we have it. We really do feel that God has given us better luck then most people and we haven't taken it for granted. We also knew that at some point in time the bottom would fall out and last week it did.

This has obviously thrown off some of our plans, some very big plans. Lets just say we have "wanted" a family for a very long time now and God not granting that wish has been at times difficult. We have trusted God through it all and we have known that God had a reason for it and now he has revealed that too us. Can't imagine how we would be feeling right now if I were say 7 months pregnant and dealing with an unemployed husband and a wife who does not want to go back to work. God knew what we needed, we didn't.

Three months ago we also began doing Dave Ramsey's program and got our finances in order. We have paid off a considerable amount of money and we also now know where every single dollar is going. Unfortunately we will not be paying off any debt for awhile, but we at least know that there are lots of areas that we can save more money.

Through the past week I have learned some valuable lessons - one of which is that I really want to wait until we have all of our debt paid off before having any children. As badly as I want to have kids I do not want to put this much of a financial burden on my husband when he is the sole provider. If I were pregnant right now, I would have to go back to work and I can't even imagine how I would be feeling then. We've had a "plan" for so long now and watching it dissolve is not easy but I know it is for the best and we will be happier in the end. I have to be patient. I have to do what is best for our family. We have a long way to go with our debt, but we are also working so hard on this that we will succeed sooner rather then later. So any of you hoping for a little Keyser baby will have to be patient with me on this one for quite awhile longer.

We are trying our best to trust God in all of this. Peter has turned in tons of applications and we do trust that God has his plan no matter how different it is then what ours is. This is a very tough economy to be job hunting and that can be a real emotional downer. He is on the top of the list at three accounting firms but they have no idea when they will have an opening or even they themselves laying employees off. He has a lead with a very large company in the area but they won't be hiring until May so if that is what God wants then we will be waiting awhile. His other lead right now is for a position with KPMG in Canada. He had a phone interview for that position yesterday. That position is a long shot and would be a huge life adjustment but it would really be an adventure for us! We were actually very surprised that they called him the day after applying to interview him but we don't anticipate hearing back from them again for awhile. we know if God wants us in Canada then we are going and it would be a scary, yet exciting journey for us! In the meantime Peter is studying and trying to complete his final two CPA exams.

Please keep us in your prayers. This is a real trying time for us and while we know God is in control and that there are so many people with the same burden we are carrying right now - it is still difficult. We know we will grow from this and be stronger and better because of it, but it is not fun in the midst of the storm. We will continue to praise Him in the storm.............

Happy Birthday Little Critters!

First Day Home with Us - May 29th 2007

2nd Birthday - March 16th 2009

Happy 2nd Birthday Callie and Kahlua! The girls have enjoyed their birthday with the typical party foods - shredded wheat, apple twigs, and yummy tums! Poor Peter doesn't stand a chance with all 4 of his girls having birthdays within 12 days of each other! Callie and Kahlua start the birthday fun! It was quite a treat getting these rare little girls and we have enjoyed learning more about them and answering all of peoples questions about them. They are definitely different then most pets but they have very fun personalities and are very curious about us and their canine siblings. Both Callie and Kahlua were born on March 16th but are actually not directly sisters - they were from 2 different litters that just happened to be born on the same day. We were originally only looking for one chin and had picked out Kahlua (the breeder was going to keep Callie) but the breeder told us that they would do better in a pair so we got Callie too, and they are happier together and really are sisters - they've been caged together ever since we decided to get both of them at just weeks old! They love each other very much and spend their days curled up in their hammocks together and grooming one another!

Happy Birthday Little Critters!

Beans and rice and other things

I am sick of beans and rice. We started on a beans and rice diet about 2 months ago. Not to lose weight (although it is working) but to save money. We are trying to pay off debt and so far this is working wonders for us! We do eat other things, there is no way I could survive on just beans and rice, but we only buy the other things if they are more then 50% off. We are saving so much money and it is so exciting at the end of the month to see the progress we are making. Our debt is disappearing in a timely matter that we never thought was possible! Who knew SAVING money could be so much fun! We have given up a lot and it is not always easy, but we do see God's blessing pouring out on us through it all.

One of the most difficult things for me to sacrifice is going to Jamaica. I really want to go back this year and we could easily go back if we weren't saving so much. I know that someday we will go back and I just have to have patience. I am scrap booking last years Jamaican vacation right now and it is a lot of fun to think about that trip. It was the best! I love going to Disneyland, don't get me wrong, that is our place - but our Jamaica trip was special! It is worth it to make these sacrifices and I know that! We have a great written plan for our future and if we stick to it we could be debt free by the time we are 25 and have no house payment by the time we are 35, be able to pay cash for our children's educations, have Peter retire at 50 and travel and enjoy life - that sounds awesome!!! So for me to sacrifice my immediate desires for the next couple of years would be NOTHING compared to what we will gain in the future. I can honestly say with how much I hate beans and rice right now - I could do it for months, maybe even years to reach our ultimate goals.

I highly recommend no matter what your age is to check out Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover. The whole thing makes perfect sense but you gotta be willing to sacrifice some things.

I am getting close to having some pictures of the house posted. I just gotta get the other rooms clean. I set up the "nursery" as a scrapbook room and then after I get the scrap booking done I want to go back and do some decorative painting to other rooms in the house.

Peter is working long hours and we aren't seeing a whole lot of each other, but it is actually not as bad as I expected it to be. Beth took me to see WICKED for my birthday - which was awesome BTW! Highly recommend going and seeing it while it is in town. We stopped in to see Peter at work and it was fun to see his office and put faces with names. Definitely makes me realize that he works in Corporate America. I'm so proud of all he has accomplished!