Since I originally intend for this to be a journal of sorts for the kids, I thought it was time to update on what we all hoped would be over by now. But this yucky virus continues full force over 18 months later. We really thought that this summer would kind of be the end of this thing and we had one month of life that felt "normal" but now this virus seems to be back with a vengeance and it is really sad and defeating.
After talking with my doctor last week, she says it is worse than it has ever been and it kind of feels that way. It seems like hospitals nationwide are now having to ration care. My doctor said she's witnessed patients die in the halls of the hospital while waiting for a bed. She has witnessed them loading young bodies into the overflow freezer trucks in the parking lot. She has countless pregnant patients currently battling the virus and some who are even dying. I know there are doubters about how bad the situation is, but actually talking with my doctor whom I have been seeing for over 15 years and trust with my life, and seeing how burdened she is by everything going on. It just feels a bit unreal.
We have watched the virus go from hearing about people who we vaguely know having it to now some of our inner circle of people fighting it off. I feel so fortunate that we have not had to deal with it in our home and I hope it can stay that way. But that hasn't come without some extreme sacrifices on all of our parts. We are pretty much back in hiding with very limited activities. Peter has been working from home for almost 18 months, we have really limited the kids activities. My doctor has made it abundantly clear that as a pregnant woman I need to be so so careful and so we have. It was certainly not my intention to be pregnant during a raging pandemic or give birth in a hospital during a pandemic but here we are....
I would love to just be able to countdown to birth and know that everything will be okay, but both our pediatrician and my OB have told us we need to continue to shelter and protect our baby. Not only is covid extremely serious for a newborn, but there are other viruses that haven't gone around but will be a problem this winter that are extremely hard on small babies too. They are particularly concerned about RSV (which is raging right now, out of season) flu seasons arrival and whooping cough. We are always careful with our new babies but this feels like we will have to take even more extreme measures and I am just so over it! But protecting this little one (and all my kids) has been and will continue to be of top importance to me!
On top of the personal implications of this thing, it has just caused great division among everyone. I have never seen people so hostile in their views and it is really sad. Everyone has a bit of fatigue at this point. We sit in the middle not knowing who to trust. We don't fully trust everything our government is telling us but we also don't believe the conspiracy theories running rampant on the other end. It's just a bit insane and we just have block out a lot of the noise to save our sanity.
In general we just don't know when this will end at this point. We were hopeful it was about behind us but now we don't feel optimistic at all. It is a different world. Masks are still required, now vaccine mandates are coming out to go places and even work. The supply change is still messed up so it's hard to get items and prices for things are going up, making buying things like groceries go up quite a bit for our large family. But through it all we are optimistic about our lives and seeing as much positive as we can. These last 18 months with Peter home have been fantastic and it has been so good to have him close through this pregnancy. The amount of family time we've had has been great for us, the slower pace of life. The simple trips we've taken, while not what we planned, have been so good! There have been so many challenges but life has still been okay! We trust that God holds this all in his hands regardless of where the future goes, so even if there are moments where it feels like we are living one day at a time, maybe that is exactly how God wants us living!
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