My High (and Low) of 2011

write (paint, draw, photograph, record, etc.) about your best experience this year. If that's not your cup of joe, write about your worst experience. Feeling chatty? Share both your best and worst moments.

How will you resound?

Today's is kind of my high and low all rolled into one. I know I have shared this all before, but this is my high/low so I'm going to share it all again :) This story is still hard for me to write without getting all emotional. I had been dreaming of this day and it turned out perfect and yet was also the most difficult time of my life all rolled into one.

So at 9:30 PM on Feb 3rd 2011 my water broke at 35 weeks 6 days. I immediately went into a state of shock. I had kind of expected to go into labor early, but I never anticipated it being quite this early. I kind of went into a panicked state and Peter and I just sort of stared at each other in shock for a second. When I say my water broke, I mean my water BROKE! We quickly went into a frenzy, called my mom to come get Malachi, ran around packing the last minute things (fortunately I had packed most of the stuff that very day!) and called my doctor who was already at the hospital waiting for another woman to deliver.

And away we went. As we drove to the hospital I couldn't believe that I would be expected to give birth this very day! I all of a sudden felt very not ready for what was to come! We got to the hospital, checked all in, they confirmed that my water had indeed broke, which I think the towel in my pants should have given that one away! I got asked a million questions by my nurse. I had to hang out in triage while they kicked a woman who had already delivered out of her room since the maternity ward was full. I still feel bad that this woman had to move rooms after 10:00 at night. My doctor came in and explained that there would be a 50/50 chance that the baby may need to be transported out of the hospital after delivery, but we would hope for the best. She checked me and I was 1cm with no contractions. It was going to be a long night!

We finally were able to get settled into a room. By this time I was having very mild contractions. My doctor decided it would be good to let me rest for the night and induce me in the morning if we needed to. So she set me up with some snacks and a sleeping pill and we settled in for the night. the nurses and my doctor came in throughout the night to see how things were going. I was making very slow progress, so at 5:00AM they brought in the pitocin. Things got rough, very fast after this. My contractions started lasting longer and coming within 20 seconds of each other, leaving me no time to recover. I was no longer having fun :) My doctor came back at 7:30 to see how things were going I was 3cm and 100% effaced. She decided I was progressing enough for an epidural and by 8:00 I was resting very comfortably! It was time to rest up for the grand finale! After my epidural, things started moving faster. They let me rest until 11:00 and found I had made it to 6cm! By 11;45, I had started feeling a different sensation and they checked me and I was complete. I couldn't believe it was time to start pushing! They quickly called my doctor and that news finally woke Peter up :)

By noon I was pushing and laughing so hard at my doctor! She had us laughing so hard. When we did the hospital tour I was told to expect 2 nurses and the doctor in the room, but do to the circumstances my room filled up rather fast! A pediatrician and a respiratory therapist came in and I also had several more nurses coming in and out. I barely noticed the full house though!

At 12:36 PM my precious baby boy #2 made his way into the world. The pediatrician said I could hold him on my chest right away, as long as he was crying. It all happened so fast though, and unfortunately he was not crying and had an awful looking purple/blue color to him. But I was instantly in love with him!

I still had such high hopes that he would be fine after a little help. Everything seemed to be happening so fast around me. Eventually they made the decision to take him down to another room to work on him further. I was still not thinking to clearly. I had told Peter before the birth, that if anything happened I wanted him to focus on the baby. That was not hard for him to do. Once that boy was born, Peter was glued to him!

Eventually I was all fixed up and they just needed me to get some feeling back in my legs before I could go down to see him. My nurses were sooo awesome. They were all so caring about the emotional state I was in. One of Eli's nurses made sure to come in every 15 minutes or so and give me an update on how things were going. It didn't seem to take long before the nurses decided it was time to get me down to him. One nurse got on each side of me and pretty much lifted me into a wheelchair since my legs were still completely worthless!

The wheeled me down to see him and as soon as I got in the room, they remember they hadn't played the lullaby yet that they do for all babies born in the hospital. So between seeing him in this state and hearing that stupid song, I pretty much lost it. I got to hold his hand for a little while, and this was about the time they decided he was not going to stabilize and would need to leave. They were having a very difficult time getting an IV in him, so after about 10 minutes with him they made me leave. They were going to try and place an IV in his belly button and I guess they didn't think I could handle it.

So I kept getting updates in my room, as far as when the transfer team arrived and stuff like that. I did my best to stay strong through it all. The nurses kept telling me I needed to eat, but I was not feeling like it. The nurses were so comforting to me! Peter was with Eli the whole time. I found out after all of this that his lung started bleeding out. The NICU doctors said that only happens in about 3% of cases, so that tells us how hard he was having to work to breath.

Finally the team had him stabilized and had a breathing tube down him. They brought him in to say goodbye to me and that was when things became very hard for me! I couldn't believe this was happening. I would not be bringing my son home with me. I said my goodbyes to Peter and my little boy and then was left all alone. Honestly, I just wanted to be left alone. I had chaplains stopping by and my nurses kept checking up on me, encouraging me to eat or offering to find me a movie to watch. I was holding it all together pretty good and finally got some food.

The most comforting thing for me was a lady from the church unexpectedly dropped by. She was so excited and in such high spirits that it really encouraged me and made me forget about the hard parts of the day. A little while after that, my parents brought Malachi in to see me and that made me feel all better.

Later that night Peter came back from the NICU. He brought me more pictures, which I was dying to see! He was all settled into the NICU for the night and looked so much pinker already. It still felt so unnatural to not get to be with him though.

That night, my doctor set me up with a really strong sleeping pill since she knew I would have trouble sleeping. I was all set for discharge in the morning! Once morning came, we got all packed up and headed home! We got quick showers at home and were on our way up to see our little guy.

It was hard to prepare myself to walk into the NICU. I was already in a really emotional state and didn't know what to expect. We found our little guy and I had to fight really hard to not cry when I first saw him in this state:

They had taken him off the breathing tube during the night and got him set up on C-Pap. He looked awful to me! Over the course of the next few days though, we got used to all the instruments on him and they didn't seem quite so scary anymore.

It didn't take long before the nurses decided he needed some mommy loving (which I really needed too) and I got to spend a couple hours Kangaroo cuddling him! 25 hours had passed since he was born, and I could finally hold him!

The next few days passed quickly! We got in the swing of how the NICU did things. Every night I had to choke back tears though, as I had to leave him. It just didn't feel right! But he was making progress!

After 4 days in the NICU, our awesome nurse Carmen let us know that she was feeling pretty confident that our boy would be off C-Pap by the time we saw him again. I was so thrilled to hear that news! We had to get one last picture of him on C-Pap. He was letting us know what he thought of C-Pap!

That night our nurse called us to let us know that he was indeed off C-Pap and that they had also moved him out of the Level 3 NICU and put him in the Level 2 NICU. All fantastic news!

The next day we went to the other NICU to see him. The whole atmosphere in Level 2 was so different and so much more relaxed! I walked in and was talking to him and the nurse informed me that I could pick him up! I was so excited! I could?!? In the other NICU, they required a respiratory therapist and a nurse to help maneuver the baby to be held.

It felt so wonderful to have him in my arms and to have him off the machines where I could see his face!

He spent 2 days in the Level 2 NICU. It almost felt more unnatural to leave him over there. He seemed like such a normal baby now and I hated having to put him down and leave every night.

Finally, it was the 11th! It had been one week since our little man was born and he finally had the okay to come home! We got up to the NICU as fast we could that morning (which wasn't very fast for me!) By the time we got there, he was discharged by the doctors and all the monitors were turned off of him and he was unplugged :) He was literally just sitting there waiting for us! We quickly got him dressed, filled out some paperwork and got some last minute instructions.

Then we were free and clear! We loaded all 5 1/2 lbs of him in his car seat and it was time to get him home and get all 4 of us back under one roof!

It was kind of emotional for me (love those postpartum hormones) to walk out of the NICU WITH my baby. It also felt a little bit terrifying!

Whew, okay I KNOW that was a super long story. But that week was filled with so many highs and lows for my year. I am so thankful it all worked out so well and that he only had to spend a week in the NICU and that he has been so strong ever since and not had any problems. He's gained weight and caught up developmentally and is just perfect in every way!

Photo of the Year!

For the past 8 days, we've talked about our year. For the next 7 days (with a break in between for a special prompt), we're going to talk about the best things of 2011, then we'll round out the month planning for 2012.

Today, please post your best photo of the year. It doesn't have to be the best technically, it doesn't have to be the best visually, but it should be a photo that you consider the best. Does it have special meaning? Is it of a significant event or moment?

I couldn't pick just one picture, since I do have two children and have very special moments with both of them this year. So I decided to pick a special moment with both of them!

For Malachi, it would be getting to celebrate his first birthday with him! I have longed for children for such a long time, and the first birthday is such a huge milestone! With adoption, we were open to adopting a child 0-12 months which means we could have potentially missed out on a first birthday. But God was great to us, and we were able to have so many of Malachi's firsts with him, but the greatest moment for me was his first birthday! This picture was taken the night of his first birthday!

And then there is Elias. Our little peanut baby! Just getting him home from the hospital was such a big moment and I couldn't wait to photograph how TEENY TINY he was! This is one of my very favorite pictures of him! He was so tiny, so precious, and perfect! Around this time, I just loved to watch him breath. His ability to breath was such a miracle to me.

Catch Phrase

What's your trademark phrase? Not sure? How about a quote or saying that you repeat often? Bonus points if it's new for 2011, but we won't be upset if it's been around longer than that. Try to put it in context for us if it's a little abstract.

So my biggest made up "catch phrase" would be the fact that I mess sayings up, and not even on purpose. I always seem to mix up well known saying. The one I have done most common is "it's not brain science." It used to drive my hubby nuts that I can never get sayings right, but now I think he just finds it funny!

20 Weeks

I had my 20 week appointment yesterday! In addition to that appointment, I also had my anatomy scan :)

Here is our precious baby #3! All curled up in what appears to be a very uncomfortable position.

And here is his/her beautiful face :)

Precious little piggies!

And another picture of the awkward positioning! The tech could not believe how this baby was laying in there!

With that being said, we did not find out the gender, as curious as I was! The important thing is that everything is looking good on our little one! Baby was weighing in at a perfect 12 ounces! We are quickly approaching that 1lb weight mark :)

Even though I am carrying this baby very different than I carried Eli, this little baby seems to love hanging out really low just like Eli did. I am not sure if that increases the risk of having the same problem since the head is already on my cervix. Heart rate was in the 150's and everything is as it should be.

My doctor warned that it is time to start being cautious. I knew that day would eventually come, but I did not expect it quite this early. I am glad she is being extra cautious though and I want nothing more than to have a healthy full term baby this time. I feel like these last 20 weeks are going to be more nerve wracking than the first 20. I have been having a lot of braxton hicks contractions but since they are random and not more than 4 an hour, they sound like nothing to be worried about. So we press on into the next month of pregnancy, taking it a day, week, month at a time!

Achievement

What goal did you set for yourself and achieve this year? Did you achieve something you didn't think you could? Did you win an award? Did you set a record? Did you finally get your VCR from 1985 to stop blinking 12:00? C'mon, share it! Today is your chance to brag and get a resounding round of interweb applause.

Well, my biggest achievement this year was birthing my son :) I feel like birth was one of the most amazing things I have ever done! It was a very cool experience. I remember laughing so much while I was pushing. My doctor had everyone in the room laughing so hard. The moment he came out, my laughter turned into tears at this precious miracle that I grew in my tummy for 36 weeks. I remember my doctor looking over at me and asking me how I felt and I told her that it was pretty amazing and she agreed with me. The fact that the female body is capable of protecting and giving a fetus everything it needs to grow into this beautiful baby - so incredible! That our bodies can stretch so much while we are pregnant and then have contractions that force the baby out - just such a perfectly knit together plan! So yes, even though my body didn't bake the baby as long as it should have, and even though I didn't win that martyr award and instead opted for an epidural - it was still a major lifetime achievement for me and something I longed to accomplish in my life!

Toddler Fun

Lately I have met my match with a certain little toddler boy. I knew that this day would come, but I honestly was caught off guard by just how HARD dealing with a misbehaving toddler could be. I was not enjoying constantly dealing with a toddler who would not obey and I was certainly not enjoying that the source he took his frustration out on was his poor little brother.

I had been attempting the use of timeouts and was not really seeing much of an improvement. My frustration was reaching its peak quickly. But over the weekend I was able to do a lot of reading on how to become a better parent and implemented a few minor changes to my discipline this week.

I didn't change very much at all, but the slight changes I have made seem to be making a world of difference! I am staying calm, stating what behavior is not allowed, and then following through with immediate discipline (timeouts in the same room that I am in) if he does not obey! Such a simple thing to do, but I am so amazed in how quickly this has helped with his behavior. For the first time, I now see that my son respects my authority!

One of the books I read stated how we have to get our young children to respect us. That we are the first authority figure in their lives and if we are unable to get their respect at a young age, then they will never learn to respect God's ultimate authority over their lives. That really struck me! I want to raise Godly young men and that is going to require a lot of work on my part.

I also was concerned that all this disciplining I have been doing would hurt my relationship with him. But it has not done that at all! He respects me, but he is also showing more affection with me. Also because I am not showing my frustration, but reacting calmly because I am dealing with the problems before they escalate, we are having more fun together!

So, it is not ALL work around here. I am actually enjoying a lot of the time with my toddler. Pinterest has been an awesome source of ideas to entertain my little boy and I am collecting supplies to do a few more fun projects with him. He is growing old enough now that I am feeling a lot more comfortable that he will be able to handle things like play dough and finger paints without eating all of it :)

So we started with colored rice!

And it becomes a play toy, similar to sand.

It took a couple seconds of me showing him what to do,but he caught on fast!

He's watched me cook enough for is imagination started to take off a little and he was stirring things up and using the measuring cups!

I thought he would enjoy playing, but I had no idea how much he would love it. The fun lasted an hour before I had to make him take a nap. He was very sad that I made the fun stop :(

My precious, precious growing boy!

Thelma and Louise

So far you've summed up the year in one word, admitted your vices, touted your virtues, revealed your superpower, and let us in on your theme song, but no superhero does it alone ...

Who is the Thelma to your Louise? Who is your partner in crime? Did you reacquaint yourself with an old friend? Did you make a new friend? Or, perhaps, you are a lone ranger?

Take some time today to look back on how you spent your year and give a shout out to anyone that helped to make it special. If you don't have any close friends that fit the bill, think about who you spend your time with on a regular basis, who is the bright spot in your day? Maybe you joke around with a coworker just to get through the day. Maybe the barista who serves your coffee knows your order by heart and/or knows when to suggest you mix it up. Who makes your life just a little bit better just by being themselves?

Well of course the Thelma to my Louise has, and always will be my incredible husband! No question about that!!! He is my best friend and the love of my life! He always has my back and I always have his. When we're away from each other, I am always wanting to talk with him and share things about my day with him. He knows more about me than anyone else ever could and there are moments in my life that I cannot imagine having anyone else but that amazing man by my side! He helps me with everything and challenges me to become a better wife and mother. There is only one man crazy enough to want to live life with me! Only one man who can face the challenge of 3 kids under 2 and STILL be willing to talk to me about the next addition somewhere down the line :) He truly is everything I could ever ask for and so much more!