Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day

To the babies who first made me a mommy!  I couldn't celebrate Mother's Day without you!  Each of you has entered my life with different circumstances and different stories, but I still remember the very first time I held you in my arms!

Malachi, my first born!  The one who finally gave me that much anticipated title of "mommy"!  I will never forget driving into the gates of Hannah's Hope.  We were now just minutes from meeting you and my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.  We stood outside and snapped pictures of the first family in our group meeting their older daughters.  Then all of a sudden I heard them say "Segni's parents, go meet him."  That was us!  We marched up the stairs and I hadn't seen a recent picture of you in over a month but I could totally tell it was you because of your chub and the little poof of hair on the top of your head!  You were facing away from me.  But I came over as fast I could and held your hand and wrapped you in my arms for the very first time.  I was worried you might cry, but you didn't.  You just studied me as I studied every feature of you!  It was surreal to have you finally in my arms!  

Then there was Elias.  I remember driving to the hospital in labor with you, far earlier than we anticipated.  I was a bit panicked and not ready for what was about to happen. I had no idea the emotional roller coaster the next 24 hours would become.  I labored through the night and things finally got intense in the morning. After about 14 hours, it was time to welcome you into the world.  But things weren't how they were supposed to be.  You were a very sick little 5 pound baby boy.  They took you right away from me and I wouldn't see you again for almost 24 hours.  It might have been the most difficult 24 hours of my life.  I was in a lot of pain and completely exhausted, but none of that mattered because all that mattered was getting to you as soon as I could.  Daddy was able to go be with you and having his reassurance that you were doing better at the bigger hospital helped a lot.  My doctor was kind enough to give me a dose of something that helped me relax and sleep through the night so I was at least a little bit rested to meet you.  The first time I saw you, is still a bit of a blur. I think I had so much medication on board and was still in a bit of an emotional fog.  I checked out of the hospital as early as I could the next morning, went home and got cleaned up and then was off for the hour drive to the hospital to meet you.  The NICU is a bit of a scary place and when I first saw you with all of those tubes and wires it was really scary.  But them letting me kangaroo care for the very first time was the best!  It was much over due for both of us!  It was a hard first day for you and your stats were all over the place. You were setting off alarms and scaring me half to death but we made it through and I will never forget that day!

And then there is Sabrina!  Whew girl, you had given me a run for my money.  7 weeks of bed rest, followed by 2 weeks of "early labor", but we finally made it to the finish line.  Thankfully after a hard pregnancy, you entered this world smoothly and easily! Only 5 hours of easy laboring (thank you modern medicine!) and 2 minutes of pushing! Things moved so quickly!  You were my only child who I got to hold in my arms right away and the nurses were so understanding and let us have some incredible time!  You didn't leave my chest for over an hour after your delivery.  It wasn't quite as dramatic as your brothers first introductions but it was so special!  I had a baby girl!

And for the little one I am still yet to hold in my arms!  I'm still very much your mommy and my heart is about ready to burst with love for you.  The anticipation is building and I hope more and more that the day is nearing where you will be in my arms. I know your story will be just as wonderful and the moment just as sweet as it has been the first 3 times!